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12 Reasons Why Some Men Are Assholes

Wondering why some men are such assholes?

You’re not alone.

12 Reasons Why Some Men Are Assholes

Let’s be real for a second: Not ALL men are assholes.

There are some decent guys out there.

But there’s definitely a fair share of asshole guys roaming around.

And we know what that means:

Asshole men who are narcissistic, selfish, toxically masculine, and overly aggressive, yet beneath the surface insecure, broken, and emotionally unintelligent.

What causes so many men to become assholes?

There are a lot of factors.

So, without further ado, let’s delve into the psychology behind asshole men.

Here are 12 Reasons Why Some Men Are Assholes

1. Toxic Masculinity

One of the main reasons why some men are assholes is due to the influence of toxic masculinity.

Toxic masculinity is a social construct that tells men to practice aggression, dominance, and emotional suppression.

This can lead to harmful behaviors such as misogyny, entitlement, and disrespect, making men seem like flagrant assholes and jerks, especially to women.

2. Insecure Ego in An Asshole Man

What’s ironic is that asshole men seem confident but are actually insecure on the inside.

A bruised, insecure ego can turn even the most well-intentioned men into jerks.

Some men feel the need to assert dominance and superiority to mask their own insecurities, often resorting to belittling others or engaging in power plays to boost their self-esteem and seem all strong and powerful.

They compensate for weakness on the inside by displaying an outer image of strength.

3. Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Men are often socialized to suppress their emotions, leading to a lack of emotional intelligence.

That means a lot of men are unable to empathize with others or regulate their own emotions. They’re simply not in touch with their inner emotional world.

These emotionally unintelligent men may resort to insensitive behaviors, making those around them feel undervalued and disrespected.

4. Narcissistic Tendencies of Assholes

Narcissism is a key factor in understanding why some men are assholes.

A person with narcissistic tendencies often has a strong sense of entitlement and an overinflated view of their own importance.

They may struggle with empathy and often act with arrogance or disdain towards others, thinking they’re always right and that they deserve to get what they want.

As a result, these types of narcissistic asshole men may come across as self-absorbed, conceited, and pretentious, which can lead to them being perceived as pure and whole assholes everywhere they go.

In relationships, narcissists can be overly controlling and may have little regard for their partner’s feelings or needs.

This can help explain why men may be especially likely to act like assholes when they’re with a relationship partner.

5. Anger and Aggression

Anger and aggression also play a significant role in the asshole behavior of some men.

Loads of men struggle with anger management issues and often express their emotions through aggressive outbursts, verbal abuse, or even physical violence.

This can make them come across as intimidating, aggressive, and difficult to deal with, which contributes to the perception of them being assholes.

How guys manage their anger can affect how they communicate and interact with others, influencing their likelihood of relationship conflict and healthiness.

Asshole men have a lot of relationship conflict because they feel a need to dominant, be right, and react to disagreement with anger and asserting control rather than with listening or empathy.

6. Manipulative Behavior

Manipulative behavior is another key aspect of why some men are seen as assholes.

Men who engage in manipulative behavior often use deceit, coercion, or emotional blackmail to control or exploit others for their own benefit.

7. Gender Norms and Expectations

Still wondering, why are men assholes?

Look no further than the society we live in.

A lot of why men become assholes has to do with the way society creates gender role norms and social expectations for how men ought to act.

Society has long enforced certain gender norms and expectations on men.

As a result, some men might feel pressured to act in a certain way or adopt specific behaviors, which might lead to acting like assholes.

For instance, traditional male stereotypes often encourage traits like dominance, aggression, and emotional suppression.

Men internalize these stereotypes and seek to conform to them to seem more manly to their male peers and to women.

This can make it difficult for men to express themselves authentically and foster a need to assert their power over others, potentially contributing to a sense of entitlement or arrogance.

Social pressure to conform to certain masculine ideals can push some men to act in ways that are disrespectful or hurtful and signal clear asshole tendencies.

The fear of being ostracized or labeled as weak can lead many men to embrace toxically masculine behaviors, perpetuating a harmful cycle that makes these men more and more asshole-like over time.

8. Entitlement and Privilege

Societal structures that grant certain privileges to men can foster a sense of entitlement, i.e., male privilege.

Some men may believe they deserve special treatment or that their needs and desires supersede those of others, leading to selfish and inconsiderate behavior.

9. Impact of Role Models

The role models in a man’s life can significantly influence his behavior and attitudes, which can contribute to the ‘asshole man’ phenomenon.

Men with poor role models growing up, such as those who despise or disrespect others, might inadvertently adopt similar patterns of behavior.

Growing up without positive male role models or growing up observing unhealthy relationships can influence a person’s behavior and how they form relationships as an adult.

Men who lack guidance may struggle to develop healthy communication skills or may mirror negative behaviors they have seen, perpetuating the cycle of assholishness.

The absence of positive role models in a man’s life can create a vacuum that may lead them to look up to and copy negative examples of toxic masculinity from popular culture.

10. Past Traumas of Men Who Become Assholes

When thinking about why so many men are assholes, it’s important to consider the impact of past traumas in shaping a man’s personality and making him who he is today.

Some men might have grown up in dysfunctional families or faced bullying, which may cause them to develop a tough exterior to defend their internal weakness.

They may use this exterior as a way to protect themselves from getting hurt emotionally, making it difficult for them to engage in healthy relationships and open up.

This is why asshole men have difficulty with being vulnerable, talking about their emotions, or going to therapy.

Unaddressed trauma can manifest as anger, aggression, or emotional detachment, causing men to act out in ways that are harmful to themselves and those around them.

11. Romantic Relationships

If you’re dating men, you’ve surely been on a date with a douchebag guy.

One of the clearest traits of an asshole guy is that he sure acts like a major asshole in relationships.

Communication plays a vital role in any relationship, and some men may struggle with expressing their emotions, making it difficult for them to open up or understand a partner’s needs.

Factors like fear of commitment or lack of empathy can contribute to a man’s inconsiderate behavior, making him act like an asshole in his relationships.

12. Influence of Friendships

Your social circle can have a significant impact on your behavior and values.

Some men might be influenced by their friends and how their friends think and act, which encourages them to adopt certain attitudes or habits themselves.

When a man surrounds himself with negative people who support toxically masculine traits and reward this kind of behavior, then that’ll reinforce that kind of asshole behavior in himself.

Signs of Asshole Behavior in a Man

Asshole men tend to lack empathy, be arrogant, and rely on lying and deception to manipulate others.

Lack of Empathy in Asshole Men

A common sign that a man might be an asshole is his lack of empathy.

When a guy shows little to no concern for others’ feelings and emotions, it indicates a lack of understanding and compassion on his part.

You may notice him disregarding other people’s difficulties or consistently dismissing their emotions.

Empathy is crucial for building healthy relationships and understanding others’ perspectives.

Some men may struggle to empathize with others due to a combination of societal conditioning, lack of emotional awareness, or personal biases, leading to insensitive behavior that’s characteristic of an asshole.

Arrogance and One-Upmanship

Another sign a guy is an asshole is arrogance.

Assholes often display a sense of superiority and constantly engage in one-upmanship.

You might notice asshole men always trying to outdo others by flaunting their achievements, interrupting conversations, or undermining other people’s accomplishments.

This behavior stems from their need to assert dominance and maintain an inflated sense of self-worth.

It can be draining and frustrating for those around them, making them unpleasant to be around.

Lying and Deception

Lying and deception are common traits in men who exhibit asshole behavior.

Manipulation and dishonesty can be used to gain an advantage, whether it’s to shift the blame, avoid accountability, or to create a false image of themselves.

You might find men who are assholes twisting the truth or omitting important facts just to serve their own interests and make it look like they’re right so they can get their way.

Being around someone who constantly lies can create mistrust and damage relationships with others, making it difficult for you to rely on them in any aspect of your life.

How to Deal with an Asshole Man

Setting Boundaries

It’s important to set clear boundaries when dealing with assholes.

Be aware of the specific behaviors that make you uncomfortable from a guy, and make it clear to him when he crosses those boundaries.

Be firm and assertive in expressing your limits, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and end a relationship if you’re able.

Remember, it’s your right to protect your physical and emotional well-being. Asshole men won’t protect you, so you need to be your own advocate.

Effective Communication

Practice effective communication strategies when dealing with asshole guys.

This includes being direct, clear, and assertive in your words, showing that you won’t tolerate disrespect.

Make sure to express your thoughts and feelings in a manner that leaves no room for misinterpretation.

Keep calm and focus on the issue at hand, instead of resorting to personal attacks or getting emotional. Don’t stoop down to an asshole’s level.

Seeking Support

Don’t hesitate to seek support when dealing with an asshole guy.

Share your experiences with friends, family, or a professional counselor. They can provide you with valuable advice, a different perspective, or simply lend a sympathetic ear.

Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can help boost your confidence and give you the strength to handle the situation more effectively.

Dating a Man Who’s an Asshole

If you find yourself dating a man who’s an asshole, it’s important to have a serious conversation with him about the issues at hand.

Share your feelings and concerns openly, and be prepared to set boundaries if necessary.

If the behavior doesn’t change, consider whether this relationship is truly worth continuing.

Remember, you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and kindness.

An asshole man doesn’t deserve your time if he’s unwilling to treat you right.

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