The Match Lab

8 Best Ways to Start a Conversation on Tinder

So you’ve matched with someone cute on Tinder.

And now you wonder — how on earth should I start the chat and get a conversation going?


Starting a conversation on Tinder can be tricky.

Knowing how to start a conversation on Tinder is a key step on the app.

If you don’t send first messages that successfully start conversations with matches, then you surely you won’t be scheduling any first dates.

On Tinder, there’s a lot you can do to craft a compelling and engaging opener to kick things off and to write follow-up messages that keep the convo going.

Your match’s profile gives you some info to work with when it comes to sending a good opener and coming up with things to talk about.

Even still, it’s not always clear what to talk about with a new match.

So, let’s make that more clear and give you the intel you need to start the convo off strong with your next Tinder match.

Here are our 8 best ways to start a conversation on Tinder.

1. Ask an Open-Ended Question

The best way to start a conversation on Tinder is by asking an open-ended question.

Questions are the heart of conversation in everyday life.

And the same idea goes for conversations on Tinder.

Asking open-ended questions encourages your match with to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you.

For example, instead of asking if they like traveling (a yes/no question), ask about their favorite travel destination or where they’d like to go next (an open-ended question).

By doing so, you create an opportunity for deeper discussion and increase the chances of getting a rich response.

Remember, finding common ground can be a great way to start a meaningful conversation and increase feelings of chemistry, so ask questions that’ll help you figure out what you and your match have in common.

2. Compliment Your Match Wisely

Another effective way to start a conversation on Tinder is by offering a genuine compliment.

But definitely do not focus your compliment solely on physical appearance.

Instead, try complimenting their interests or a specific aspect of their profile, such as a creative bio or a unique hobby.

See them for what’s on the inside.

By doing this, you demonstrate that you’ve taken the time to read their profile and are genuinely interested in them.

Also, being specific with your compliments can make your conversation stand out from other generic messages.

The more unique your compliment is, the better.

To maximize your chances of getting a response on Tinder, send your match a compliment they’ve never heard before.

3. Send a Funny Conversation Starter

Incorporating humor into your first message on Tinder is one of the best ways to break the ice and establish a connection.

Lighthearted jokes or witty one-liners can make your opening message more memorable and enjoyable, plus put your match in a good mood.

If you can make your match laugh or smile, they’ll be more likely to respond positively and continue the conversation.

4. Ask About Travel

When starting a conversation on Tinder, tap into your and your match’s adventurous and cultural interests by talking about travel.

Ask your match about their favorite travel spots, or if they have a dream trip they’d like to take.

For example, you could ask, “What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done while traveling?” or “What places are next on your bucket list to travel to?”

5. Ask About Favorite Books, Movies, or Music

Books, movies, and music are other personal passions that can spark great conversations on Tinder.

Ask about your match’s favorite books or movies to see if you have any common interests or to learn about new things.

For example, you can ask, “What’s your all-time favorite movie, and how many times will you admit you’ve seen it?”

You can talk about music by asking about their favorite artists, concerts, or genres. For example, ask, “What’s your go-to album to listen to when you need a mood boost?” or “Have any concerts you’re hoping to go to this year?”

6. Talk Sports and Fitness

If your Tinder match seems to be into sports or fitness, then you can start a conversation about their favorite team, sport, or workout routine.

You can ask questions like, “What’s your favorite way to stay active?” or “If you had to choose only one sport to follow closely, which would it be and why?”

7. The Time Traveler Opener

When starting a conversation on Tinder, let your playful and creative side shine through.

For example, throw in a playful question, like, “If you could time travel, where would you go?”

This simple question is one of the best ways to start a conversation on Tinder because it can take the convo in so many possible directions.

By revealing your own input and inviting others to share theirs, you’ll quickly establish common ground and spark genuine curiosity.

8. The Parking Ticket Opener

Showing your quirky badass side can be a great icebreaker on Tinder, allowing your potential match to feel more at ease and open up.

Ask an unconventional question like, “What’s the most ridiculous parking ticket you’ve ever received?”

By exploring this kind of unusual petty topic, you create a fun conversation that’s engaging for you and your match.

We’ve all gotten stupid parking tickets, so this is a great topic to chat about for some fun bonding.

How to Maintain a Conversation on Tinder

Once you’ve started a conversation, it’s time to keep it going strong.

Making sure your opening message stands out will increase your odds of keeping you match interested in receiving and sending more follow-up messages.

But remember that you’re not the only one vying for your match’s attention, so put in the effort to show your uniqueness and keep the conversation going.

Being genuinely curious about your match can help maintain the conversation flow.

Ask open-ended questions about their passions, hobbies, and experiences, whether by gathering information from their profile or by drawing from your opener and how your match responds to it.

Maintain a balance between talking about yourself, and listening and responding to your match thoughtfully.

The conversation should feel balanced naturally and have a fluid back and forth.

Ask questions, but don’t let the conversation become a one-sided interview.

Overcoming Struggles in Carrying on a Tinder Conversation

Starting a Tinder conversation may seem intimidating, but just remember that you’re not alone.

It’s tough for nearly everyone.

And that’s ok.

If you encounter a lag in the conversation, don’t panic.

It’s normal for chats to lose steam and die out on Tinder.

After all, Tinder is a numbers game.

Invest your eggs in as many conversations as possible to maximize your chances of any of them staying alive long enough to schedule an actual date.

In any convo, you can keep the chat alive by introducing a new topic every couple of messages to see what catches your match’s interest most.

Finding common ground by discussing new potential shared experiences or interests is a great way to revive the conversation.

Avoid overthinking your responses or trying to come across as ‘perfect.’

People appreciate authenticity, so be yourself, let your personality shine through, and accept that not every Tinder conversation is meant to work out.

Want Help Creating a Great Tinder Profile?

We at The Match Lab have spent years studying the science of how to write good Tinder bios and how to select the right photos to use in a Tinder profile.

After years of research, we have developed a dating photo analyzer that uses an algorithm to select any person’s best photos for Tinder, or any other dating app. Just upload some photos of yourself, and our algorithm will reveal which photos you should be using in your Tinder profile and the ideal order they should go in.

We also offer professional dating profile writing services. Our professional Tinder profile writer can write your Tinder bio for you and help your profile stand out from the crowd.

Get started now, or learn more about us on our website, so you can start getting more likes and better matches on Tinder.

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