The Match Lab

Important Casual Relationship Rules for Gay Singles


If you’re single and ready to mingle there are many options for you to find a casual partner. You don’t need to be looking for the one to have some fun with other gay singles.

Hookups and casual relationships are popular in the gay community, but there are some ground rules that you should always follow. These will keep you safe, as well as ensuring that you get what you want from the relationship. 

If you’re new to the world of hookup dating, or you’ve been off the scene for some time, the following rules for casual relationships are what you need to know. 

Know What You Want

Being clear about your goals will make it easier for you to match with the right person. If you’re only interested in a hookup, there’s no point matching with someone who’s seeking a long-term relationship. 

Part of knowing what you want means being clear about the type of man you want to meet. However, it is possible to be too selective, thereby ruining potential opportunities. 

Most men have a particular type, whether that’s a bear, a twink, a daddy, or something else. Rather than sticking strictly to you usual type, why not consider trying something completely new?

Dating sites offer lots of filter options, and if you want to check out alternatives, it’s very easy to see if there’s anything else that catches your eye!

Head Online for Anonymity

The best part of online dating sites is that you can be as anonymous as you want. Reading specialized review platforms can help you find and upscale dating sites for gay men along with the selection of men’s profiles, none of which you’ll be able to recognize. 

On hookup sites it’s common to keep your face out of the photo. Some men even opt for hot images as their profile pic. This means you can put yourself out there and enjoy all of the fun of the gay community without having to worry about being identified. 

Discuss Expectations from the Start

The practicalities of gay sex means that you’ll need to have conversations from the start that straight couples don’t need to entertain. Are you a bottom? A top? Either? And how compatible is that with your date?

Other questions such as “with or without kissing” to be thrashed out from the start, so you don’t enter into a situation which is awkward. 

It may feel uncomfortable having explicit conversations with someone you just met, but if you’re not forthright then there may be an embarrassing misunderstanding. Be prepared to discuss your expectations from the start, and if they don’t align with your date, then you can walk away. 

Prioritize Consent and Mutual Respect

Hookups often occur between men that are virtual strangers. A couple of hot photos on a dating app can be all it takes to start messaging and organize a meet in person. But that doesn’t mean consent and mutual respect have to take a back seat. 

Being intimate with another man means putting yourself in a vulnerable position, so always stay safe. Meeting in public so you can gauge their attitude is a smart move, before taking the hookup somewhere more private. Somewhere like a public sauna offers the chance to get the chemistry sparking, without compromising your safety. 

Even in casual relationships, respect should be a priority. No guy should make you feel like a piece of meat to use, abuse, and discard. If he doesn’t show any interest in your needs, then bin him and find another hot hookup who’s prepared to respect your body. 

The previous point about discussing expectations dovetails neatly into the concept of respect and mutual consent. Understanding what you both want to do and agreeing to boundaries is critical when you’re hooking up for a casual gay date.

Understand When to Leave a Hookup

Casual relationships are all about having fun with no strings and no expectations. That means if you’re hooking up with a guy, you won’t want to hang around for too long. 

How long you stay afterwards depends on the circumstances. Perfect duration of the date is debatable, but If you’ve been out for the whole night, staying until the morning might not feel weird. 

However, if you’ve just met up for a pure booty call, you should make a dignified exit soon enough. Hanging around after a sex-only hookup makes things awkward, and he’ll be wondering how long it’s going to be until you leave!

Have Fun but Know the Rules

Casual relationships can be a lot of fun, and there’s no limit to the number of guys you can hook up with. Online dating sites offer an easy way to meet single gay men; it’s often possible to arrange a hookup with virtually no notice. 

To stay safe and get the maximum out of any hookups, you’ll need to follow the unspoken rules. Now that you’ve read our article you’re in the perfect position to go out there and meet your next match!

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