The Match Lab

40 Funny Golf Sayings & Quotes

DALL·E 2024 03 18 15.21.01 A vibrant and detailed illustration of a guy playing golf on a beautiful golf course in a wide aspect ratio. The golfer dressed in stylish golf atti Large

“A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you are.”

“Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.” – Paul Harvey

“Drive for show, putt for dough.”

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” – Gerald Ford

“Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters “Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.” – Lee Trevino

champion.” – Caddyshack

“My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the scorecard.”

“The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.” – Ben Hogan

“Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.” – Ted Ray

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“I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.” – Billy Graham

“Golf is a game in which you can’t improve your lie.”

“If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.” – Sam Snead

“Golf: A game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.” – Robin Williams

“The most important shot in golf is the next one.” – Ben Hogan

“Golf is a game where the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.”

“Golf is a game in which you try to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.” – Winston Churchill

“Golf is a game that is 90% mental and 10% mental.”

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“Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.”

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” – Dean Martin

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.” – Mark Twain

“Golf is not a game of good shots. It’s a game of bad shots.” – Ben Hogan

“Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at.” – Dave Hill

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” – Jack Lemmon

“It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.” – Arnold Palmer

“Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.”

“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.” – Billy Graham

“Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play softball.”

“I like big putts and I cannot lie.”

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“I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.” – Lee Trevino

“Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.”

“You know you’re a golfer when your best shots are witnessed only by your playing partners.”

“Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man’s sins.” – James Barrett Reston

“Hitting the ball is the fun part of it, but the more you hit it, the more fun you have.” – Lou Graham

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“I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: It’s called an eraser.” – Arnold Palmer

“I’ve spent most of my life golfing. The rest I’ve just wasted.”

“May the course be with you.”

“My golf game is getting better. Last week, I only lost two balls in the water hazard instead of three.”

“Swing hard in case you hit it.” – Dan Marino

“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.” – Phyllis Diller

“To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.” – P.G. Wodehouse

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