The Match Lab

120 Funniest Pick Up Lines of All Time


Funny Pick Up Lines for Her

“I’m McDonald’s and you’re Nike. Cause you’re doing it and I’m loving it.”

“You’re like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.”

“If I were an element, I’d be helium so I could be in your balloons.”

“If we were at Hogwarts, I’d definitely be under your love spell.”

“If you were an astronomer, you’d be in charge of the Hubba Hubba Telescope.”

“I must be a pirate, because I’m intoxicated by your booty.”

“If you were a letter, you’d be G, because your curves are undeniable. “

“Is your dad a lumberjack? Because you’re giving me wood.”

“You’re like a coconut – tough exterior, but incredibly sweet inside.”

“If you were a strain of weed, you’d be called ‘Dream Come True’.”

“Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are much hotter.”

“If being beautiful was a crime, you’d be on the most wanted list.”

“If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass seduction.”

“You’ve got more curves than a triple integral.”

“If you were a planet, you’d be Venus – because you’re too hot for Earth to handle.”

“If you were a drink, you’d be champagne – elegant and bubbly.”

Read: 100 Best Pick Up Lines of All Time

Funny Pick Up Lines for Him

“Do you play football? Because you’ve got a tight end.”

“Do you work at Dick’s? Because you’re sporting the goods.”

“I’m not much of a wine girl. I prefer moans.”

“Did your license get suspended for driving all these girls crazy?”

“Is your name Thor? Because you must have used a hammer to sculpt those muscles.”

“Do I need to be Tony Stark to get your attention, or can I just say I love you 3000?”

“Are you fresh laundry? Because you’re too hot to handle.”

“Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper.”

“Are you a basketball layup? Because you’re smooth and reliable.”

“I’d like to be your math homework. Can you slam me on the desk and do me all night?”

Read: The 40 Best Bumble Openers to Use on Guys

Funny Pick Up Lines to Use Over Text

“My crush is ugly… without the G, L, or Y.”

“My Wi-Fi is 4G, but my heart is 4U.”

“Will you help me with some algebra and replace my eX without asking Y?”

“Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.”

“Are you really a cat? Because I’m feline a connection between us.”

“You must be so tired after running through my mind all day.”

“Are you good at hide and seek? Because someone like you is hard to find.”

“Are you an ice-skating rink? Because I keep falling for you.”

“I’m not a Goofy Goober, but I’m nuts about you.”

“Are you a philosophy teacher? Because I Kant live without you.”

“Are you a conspiracy theory? Because I believe in you.”

“Do you like Harry Potter? Because I adumbledore you.”

Read: 54 Funny Tinder Bios to Get More Likes & Start Conversation

Funny Pick Up Lines to Use at a Bar

“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but the Earth is definitely flat.”

“I oughta complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again and again until you do?”

“I’m like a vaccine; one shot with me, and you’ll be feeling better.”

“Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you look like a snack.”

“Are you a lawyer? Because you’ve got a strong case for being the most beautiful person here.”

“Is your name Nike? Because you’ve got ‘just do it’ written all over you.”

“Is your real name Netflix? Because I could binge-watch you all night.”

“Can I call you ‘butterfly’? Because you give me them.”

Read: 4 Reasons Why Confidence is So Attractive

“I’m trained in mouth-to-mouth, in case you need resuscitation.”

“Do you like boxing? Because you’re a knockout.”

“Is your voice a guillotine? Because I’m losing my head over you.”

“Are you a ghost? Because you look like my boo.”

“Do you like whales? Because we could go hump back at my place.”

“Are you a 90 degree angle? Because you look all right.”

“Are you a lemon? Because you make me want to pucker up.”

“Are you made of grapes? Because you’re fine as wine.”

“Are you an onion? Because I want to peel back your layers.”

“Wow, Cupid got me real good this time… Hi, I’m [your name].”

Read: Creating Chemistry on a First Date: 7 Tips for Feeling a Spark

Funny Pick Up Lines to Use on Dating Apps

“You have eggs-actly what I’m looking for on here, and omelette you have my number.”

“If you were a hashtag, you’d be trending every day.”

“You must be a hematologist, because you’re my type.”

“I don’t need to rearrange the whole alphabet to know U R A QT.”

“Are you a dinosaur bone? Because I’m not an archaeologist but I’m digging you.”

“Are you a time traveler? Because I can see you in my future.”

“If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.”

“If I were an electron, I’d be excited to bond with you.”

“Are you from Korea? Because I think you’re my Seoul-mate.”

“Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I’m falling all over the place for you.”

“I don’t want to have kids with you, but I’m happy to help you practice.”

“If I were a traffic light, I’d turn red every time you passed by just so I could stare at you a bit longer.”

Read: How to Have Better Hinge Conversations: 12 Tips

Cheesy Pick Up Lines

“What do you call a string of people lifting a mozzarella cheese? A cheesy pickup line.”

“Is your name Chapstick? Because you’re da balm.”

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘FINE’ written all over you.”

“I don’t think I need glasses anymore because I can clearly see that we’re meant to be.” 

“Do you have an eraser? Because I can’t get you out of my mind.”

“Are you a photographer? Because you’ve captured my attention.”

“You must be a psychiatrist, because you’re on my mind all the time.”

“Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

“Are you a dentist? Because you leave a lasting impression.”

“Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.”

“Do you want some wine to go with this cheesy pickup line?”

“Do you like science? Because I’ve got my ion you.”

Read: 52 Best Chemistry Pick Up Lines of All Time

“Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.”

“If you were a Disney character, you’d be Simba, because you’re the mane attraction.”

“I’d be lion if I said I wasn’t king of falling for you.”

“You’re the Obi-Wan for me.”

“Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.”

“Do you believe in natural selection? Because my genes feel selected for you.”

“Do you have a pH of 14? Because you’re the most basic need in my life right now.”

“Are you bread? Because I knead you in my life.”

“Is your name Autumn? Because I’m falling for you.”

“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. And if you were a vegetable, I’d visit you in the hospital every day.”

Read: 82 Funny Bumble Bios That’ll Spark Conversation

Corny Pick Up Lines

“Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling.”

“Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

“Do you play volleyball? Because you’ve just spiked my interest.”

“Is there a Wi-Fi router nearby? Because I’m feeling a stronger connection the closer I get to you.”

“Are you a fishing rod? Because I’m hooked on you.”

“If love is a battlefield, then you’re the victory I’m fighting for.”

“Are you a gymnast? Because you’ve already stuck the landing in my heart.”

“Are you a black hole? Because you’re pulling me in with an irresistible force.”

“Your eyes are so bright, I need sunglasses just to look at them.”

“If you were a kangaroo, I’d jump into your pouch and never leave.”

“Are you a volcano? Because I want to make lava to you.”

“I think we’d make a cute pear.”

Read: 11 Best Tinder Pictures to Get More Likes

Funny Pick Up Lines That Up the Flirt

“Are you a light switch? Because you turn me on.”

“Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.”

“Are you an antiquer? Cause I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years.”

“I’ve been trying to conserve water…wanna shower together?”

“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard that calls it a snow day for every school in the district.”

“You must be a calculus teacher, because your curves are infinite.”

“Are you a Corgi? Because you’ve got a cute little bottom.”

“If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?”

“You’re hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power.”

“One night with me and they’ll be calling you Moaning Myrtle.”

Read: 54 Dirty Pick Up Lines for Him

“Are you a basketball player? Because you’d make a great rebound.”

“I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I’ll make your bed rock.”

“If our connection were a fruit, it’d be a passionfruit.”

“Are you Costco? Because you’re my new favorite place to get lost.”

“If you were a berry, I’d pick you first every time.”

“Do you play hockey? Because you’ve got a puck-er that’s out of this world.”

“Like a Southern barbecue, you’ve got the perfect blend of spice and sweetness.”

“If I were the Lorax, I’d speak for your heart, saying we should never be apart.”

“If you were ice cream, I’d brave any brain freeze to get a taste of you.”

“If kisses were coffee beans, I’d send you a whole espresso machine.”

Read: 5 Signs of Chemistry on a First Date: How to Know It Went Well

“I’d say ‘God bless you,’ but it looks like he already did when he made you.”

“Are you an aspirin? Because I’d like to take you by mouth every 4 to 6 hours.”

“Can you lend me a kiss? I’ll give it back somewhere else with interest.”

“I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.”

“Sleeping alone is a waste of my talents.”

“What’s a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

“Are you a bowl of cereal? Because I’d like to spoon you.”

“Can you help me figure out our bodies’ coefficient of friction?”

“You must be bacon, because you’re sizzling hot and I want more.”

“If you were a fruit, you’d be a strawberry – because you’re sweet and I want all of you in my mouth at once.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again with less clothing?”

More Great Pick Up Lines:

Read: 26 Best Rizz Pick Up Lines

Read: 54 Best Hinge Pickup Lines

Read: 101 Best Pick Up Lines for Flirting

Read: 55 Pick Up Lines That Might Actually Work

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