The Match Lab

How to Start a Conversation on Tinder: 7 Tips

So you’ve matched with a hottie on Tinder.

And now the real challenge hits — how on earth should I kick off the conversation?


Starting a conversation on Tinder can be confusing.

There are so many possible opening lines you could send.

And knowing how to start a conversation on Tinder surely isn’t a skill anyone’s taught you in school.

So, let the education begin.

The Importance of Your Opener on Tinder

Crafting a compelling and engaging opener on Tinder is essential, as it’ll determine whether you get a response from your match.

And if you get a response, well, your opener has just set the tone for the entire conversation.

So you’ll want it to be a good one.

It’s tough to know what to talk about with a new match on Tinder, and the risk of messing it up is high:

A bad first message means no conversation, and no conversation means no chance of a first date.

Here are our 7 best tips on how to start a conversation on Tinder.

1. Find Common Ground From Their Profile

Finding common ground with your match is hands down the best way to start a conversation on Tinder.

Bonding over something you share in common is likely to create a feeling of mutual understanding and connection.

Each time you match with someone new on Tinder, take a moment to go through their profile and look for any shared interests, hobbies, or experiences that you can use as conversation starters.

For example, if you both enjoy running, you could ask about whether they’ve run a marathon or what their training routine is like.

If you notice your match has a photo from a vacation or other trip, ask about their travels and share your own experiences where it feels organic.

The key lies in being attentive to the details in their profile, which will show them that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them better.

A perfect way to bond is through shared educational or job experiences.

If you see that you both attended the same college, you can ask about their favorite campus spots or restaurants in the college town. Ask about things only fellow alumni can relate to.

This shared experience creates a sense of familiarity and can lead to a deeper conversation about your college days and beyond.

When you make your match feel like you two have a strong shared interest or experience, it’ll make them feel more connected to you and help you stand out to them from their other matches.

The other benefit of starting a conversation by highlighting common ground is that it’ll inspire future date ideas.

If you both enjoy a particular activity, like hiking or attending concerts, then asking about a favorite trail or the last live show they attended can inspire plans for future dates where you might hike or enjoy music together.

Highlighting common ground is the key to starting a Tinder conversation that feels natural.

Some other good ways to find common ground in a Tinder chat are to talk about popular culture and entertainment topics, like celebrities, movies, TV shows, albums, bands, recent breaking news, and so on.

When you talk about topics that nearly everyone can relate to, you can easily find something in common with your match and learn their perspective on it.

The downside here, of course, is that talking about generic pop culture topics won’t create the same kind of connection that talking about a unique shared experience would create.

So, it’s always ideal to look for something specific and distinct that you and you match have in common.

But as a backup plan, talking about pop culture can be a great conversation starter too.

Just be sure to share your own hot take and make the conversation feel new and interesting.

2. Send a Unique Conversation Starter: Here’s How

Start with Open-Ended Questions

Starting a conversation on Tinder will be much more engaging if you begin with open-ended questions.

Instead of just saying “Hey,” ask your match about their hobbies or interests.

For example, you could ask, “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?” or “Any favorite movies or TV shows lately?”

Even better would be to find something that stands out in one of your match’s photos or in their bio and ask them a question about that.

For example, if they have a photo of themselves from a trip in London, you could ask, “If you could re-do your London trip, what would you do differently this time around?”

Open-ended questions encourage a more extended and thoughtful response than simple “yes/no” questions, making it easier to create a genuine conversation that grows organically.

Use Humor

Humor is an attractive way to break the ice and show your personality on Tinder.

Send a match witty remarks or funny comments that display your sense of humor without being offensive or disrespectful.

Puns, jokes, or lighthearted observations related to their profile can lead to a fun and exciting conversation on Tinder.

For an extra pizzazz, send your match a light tease about something in their profile, like lightly mocking one of their photos.

That’ll help you flirt effectively on Tinder and get your match more interested.

Be sure to keep it lighthearted and playful.

Use Compliments

Teasing is great for a Tinder conversation, and so are compliments.

genuine compliment can capture your match’s attention and create a positive atmosphere.

Avoid generic compliments like “You’re beautiful” and instead, focus on unique aspects of their profile.

Mentioning something specific, like their taste in music or an interesting travel photo, can show that you’ve genuinely paid attention to their profile and foster a deeper connection.

Compliment their inner qualities or something about their life experience.

Send a Flirty Message

Flirty messages are some of the best Tinder conversation starters when used appropriately.

Most of the time, they’re just not used appropriately.

Keep your flirtatious comments lighthearted and respectful.

Avoid coming across as overly aggressive or invasive.

A subtle, playful message, such as teasing them about their interests or challenging them to some kind of shared activity, can create an ideal level of intrigue for a fun and flirtatious conversation.

3. Get Conversation Ideas From Their Profile

By focusing on your match’s interests, hobbies, and experiences from their photos and bio, you can create a personalized, engaging opening message on Tinder.

First of all, take a close look at their profile pictures.

Are they doing any activities like hiking, playing an instrument, or enjoying a unique location?

Perfect. Comment on one of these activities.

Ask them something related to one of their photos that seeks more information and encourages them to open up.

For example, you can say, “Hey, I noticed you’re into rock climbing! What’s your favorite climbing spot?”

In addition to photos, their bio can be an excellent source of conversation ideas.

If you see that they wrote about any interests, hobbies, or experiences you find intriguing, then ask more about them.

It’ll show that you took the time to read their bio and that you care about who they are.

For example, if their bio says they love cooking, you can ask, “What’s your favorite dish to prepare and what’s your secret for making it killer?”

Remember that humor is a valuable tool in striking up a conversation.

If you find something in their profile that you think is funny or can be turned into a playful comment, go for it. Well-placed wit will make the conversation more enjoyable.

4. Strike the Right Tone for a Tinder Conversation

When you’re starting a conversation on Tinder, it’s crucial to strike the right tone from the get-go.

First, pay attention to your match’s bio and photos.

These bits of information will help you understand their interests and personality and you can get a sense of what type of conversation style they may prefer.

Second, avoid cliché or overly generic openers, such as “Hey” or “What’s up?”

They lack creativity and will make you blend in with the rest of the people in their feed.

Instead, say something thoughtful and unique. You want your opener to be intriguing and ideally directly connected to your match’s profile.

This can be as simple as using their name in your opener and asking a question about a favorit e meal they ate recently.

Lastly, your messages should be short and sweet and easy to read.

Avoid send excessively long messages, using slang, all caps, or overly long and wordy sentences.

5. Incorporate Emojis and GIFs

Emojis can add playfulness and help convey emotions better in your Tinder conversations.

To make your opener pop, choose positive and playful emojis, such as the heart eyes or a type of smiling face.

The smirk, speak no evil, and see no evil emojis can also work well, depending on the context of your conversation.

Beyond emojis, GIFs can also improve your Tinder conversations.

Incorporating GIFs into your conversation may lead to deeper and longer discussions by showing wit and humor.

Selecting the right GIF will add a fun splash to your chat that plain text often lacks.

In both cases, keep the context in mind and avoid using emojis or GIFs that may come across as rude, overtly sexual, or pushy.

Remember, your aim is to create a natural and fun conversation, so only use emojis and GIFs that help accomplish that.

6. Delve Into Your Match’s Personal Interests

To start a conversation on Tinder, it’s always a gold standard strategy to delve into your match’s personal interests.

Delve deep and do it confidently.

Show genuine interest here.

A great way to express your curiosity is by asking them questions related to their hobbies, passions, and experiences that are mentioned in their profile.

When they respond with some information, validate the emotions they’re conveying and ask a thoughtful follow-up question to learn more and show that you genuine care.

For example, if your match mentions a love for travel, ask about their favorite spots or if they have any upcoming trips planned.

Odds are, they’ll be excited to share their experiences and plans with you.

And you can dig deeper and let the conversation go in a bunch of different possible directions from there, while keeping your match genuinely engaged.

Discussing leisure activities is another effective conversation tactic to establish a connection on Tinder.

If your match is clearly a beach-lover, ask about their favorite beach spots or their beach routine.

If your match is into adventurous activities like skiing or mountain climbing, share your own experiences or ask for tips and suggestions from them. Make them the expert.

7. Show Genuine Interest: Here’s How to Put It All Together

When starting a conversation on Tinder, it’s essential to show genuine interest in the other person.

This will make them feel valued and increase your chances of getting a response.

To accomplish this, take some time to go through their profile and find something that catches your eye.

This can be a shared hobby, a unique interest, or even a question you’re wondering about their profile picture.

Begin your conversation by mentioning this common ground.

For example, you could say, “Hey, I see you’re also a fan of hiking. Have you been on any memorable trails recently?”

By doing so, you’re initiating a conversation relevant to their interests and also giving them an opportunity to share their personal experiences with you.

It’s important to ask open-ended questions that encourage a more in-depth response.

Instead of asking “Do you like hiking?” always go for something more like “What’s been your most memorable hiking experience lately?”

These kinds of questions allow your match to share more about themselves and enable the conversation to flow more naturally, making sure you’re genuinely invested in what your match has to say and vice versa.

Avoid excessive compliments early in the conversation, as they can sometimes come across as insincere or superficial.

Instead, focus on building a connection by finding topics you both enjoy discussing.

Finally, remember that your tone and language play a significant role in conveying genuine interest.

Be confident, articulate, and playful, but also maintain a clear tone and proper grammar to ensure that your match can easily understand what you’re actually saying.

How to Keep the Conversation Going on Tinder

Asking Follow-up Questions

One way to maintain a conversation on Tinder is by asking thoughtful follow-up questions.

Dive deeper into your match’s interests and experiences to show you are genuinely curious.

Here’s where those open-ended questions come in.

Questions like “What was the best part of your trip to Spain?” are better than closed-ended questions like “Did you go to Spain?” that can be answered with only a “yes” or “no.”

This strategy demonstrates your investment in the conversation and allows both of you to explore each other’s lives further.

Sharing Personal Stories

In addition to asking questions, sharing some of your own personal stories can help deepen the conversation and make it more balanced.

Relate your experiences to their interests and don’t be afraid to showcase your vulnerability when relevant.

For example, if your match mentioned their love for hiking, you can share a funny story about a hiking trip gone awry.

This not only shows you have things in common but also creates an opportunity for your match to gain a better understanding of your personality and open up themselves.

Discussing Bonding Activities

Bonding activities can range from hobbies to education to work to life experiences, and they are excellent for creating a connection in a Tinder conversation.

For example, if you discover a shared love for cooking, propose a recipe exchange or a friendly cook-off challenge.

By doing so, you’re passing the small talk barrier and connecting on a deeper level.

Also, discussing activities you both enjoy presents opportunities for future dates, making your conversations on Tinder more memorable, meaningful, and intentional.

Common Tinder Conversation Mistakes to Avoid and Tips for Success

Starting a conversation on Tinder can be nerve-wracking.

Avoiding these common mistakes and following these tips can improve your chances of it going well.

One common mistake is using generic opening messages like “Hey” or “What’s up?”

These messages are often ignored because they lack any uniqueness and they fail to make a strong impression.

Instead, try using unique conversation starters that showcase your creativity, show genuine interest in the other person’s profile, and actually open the conversation to deeper topics.

Another mistake to avoid is sending excessively long messages that can overwhelm your match.

Keep your texts short and sweet.

Lengthy messages can be off-putting and difficult to respond to.

Make your messages easy to respond to, and you’ll get more responses.

Showcasing your social intelligence and self-confidence is another helpful tip when starting a conversation on Tinder.

This means avoiding coming across as desperate.

Keep your cool, be confident, and don’t be afraid to tease or challenge your match in a playful way.

Lastly, don’t focus solely on getting a date as soon as possible.

Yes, the goal of your Tinder convo is to land a date, but it’s important to build rapport and establish a connection before moving on to the next step.

When the time feels right, smoothly escalate the conversation and ask them out.

Remember, patience and genuine engagement can make all the difference in your Tinder conversation going well.

Frequently Asked Questions About Starting a Conversation on Tinder

How can I craft a catchy first message?

To craft a catchy first message on Tinder, make it personalized and related to your match’s profile.

Including their name in your opening message can create a sense of familiarity.

Try asking an interesting open-ended question about something in their profile or mentioning something you have in common to spark their interest.

Which topics should I avoid when starting a chat on Tinder?

Avoid bringing up controversial topics like religion, politics, or past relationships.

Stay away from overly personal or intrusive questions.

What’s the right balance between humor and sincerity?

Both humor and sincerity are important in a Tinder conversation.

You can use humor to lighten the mood and show your personality and you can use sincerity to show genuine interest in the person.

Balance these two elements by reading your match’s responses and adjusting your tone accordingly.

When it doubt, lean toward more sincerity over humor.

How should I message someone with an empty Tinder bio?

Approaching someone with an empty bio can be challenging, but you can still try to start a conversation by focusing on their photos.

You can ask questions or make observations related to their photos, such as a location in the background or any interesting activities they’re doing.

If no photos give conversation ideas, then just send them a generic icebreaker question.

Are there any tips for keeping the conversation flowing on Tinder?

To keep a conversation going on Tinder, try asking open-ended questions and showing genuine interest in your match’s responses.

If the current topic seems to be losing steam, bring up a new topic.

Avoid one-word answers and actively participate in the conversation.

Strike a balance between asking questions and providing your own input into the conversation.

Want Help Creating a Great Tinder Profile?

We at The Match Lab have spent years studying the science of how to write good Tinder bios and how to select the right photos to use in a Tinder profile.

After years of research, we have developed a dating photo analyzer that uses an algorithm to select any person’s best photos for Tinder, or any other dating app. Just upload some photos of yourself, and our algorithm will reveal which photos you should be using in your Tinder profile and the ideal order they should go in.

We also offer professional dating profile writing services. Our professional Tinder profile writer can write your Tinder bio for you and help your profile stand out from the crowd.

Get started now, or learn more about us on our website, so you can start getting more likes and better matches on Tinder.

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