Texting After a First Date: 15 Tips
After a good first date, it’s important to keep the momentum going over text.
Texting after a first date isn’t just a way to plan a second date.
It’s also a way to keep the momentum from the first date going so you continue to build chemistry and connect.
And there are right ways and wrong ways to do it.
Here are 15 tips for successfully texting after a first date so you can enter the second date with odds in your favor.
The Importance of Texting After a First Date
Don’t underestimate the power of texting between dates.
Texting after a first date is a key way to convey your interest and build a connection with the person you’re dating.
Texting between the first and second date allows you to express how you felt about the date, how you feel about this person, and it also shows your date that you’re thinking about them.
It’s usually a good idea to send a message the same night after a first date so you can immediately build on the momentum and connection you’ve just made on the date. Still, it’s important to avoid being forthcoming or overwhelming your date by texting them too soon before you’ve even had a second to breathe apart from one another after the date.
Everybody is different, and some people may move slower than others after a first date to build an emotional connection and feel close. Some people fear feeling suffocated by a partner. If you feel that’s the case in your situation, you can wait a few hours after the date to see if they text you first. But you shouldn’t wait more than 24 hours to text after the first date if you really like this person. Keeping the communication active and alive is important to maintain interest and connection.
Timing a key aspect of texting between dates, but what you say in your text message is equally significant.
When texting after a first date, you should show your appreciation for the date, express that you enjoyed the person’s company, and share your interest in seeing them again. You can mention a specific moment or topic of conversation that stood out to you, or recall ideas for a potential second date that you may have spoken about.
A good rule of thumb is to wait at least two to three hours after your date ends before sending a text. This gives both you and your date some breathing room to reflect on the experience, decide how you feel about it, and even start to miss one another a bit.
1. Who Should Text After a First Date?
There is no hard-and-fast rule about who should text first after a first date.
So don’t worry — it’s hard to mess this one up.
If you had a great time and believe that your date did too, then just go for it. There’s no harm in taking the lead and sending a text to express your interest in seeing them again.
In heterosexual dating contexts, either the man or the woman can be the one to initiate a text conversation after a first date. Gone are the days when only men were expected to take the lead here.
If you’re a woman and you enjoyed your date, feel free to send the first text. Most guys will appreciate it and feel relieved to know you’re likewise interested.
Let’s chat some more about the timing of when to send that text.
You can wait a few hours after the date or even the next day, but try not to wait more than 24 hours or else you run the risk of seeming disinterested or uncommunicative. You could also lose some momentum if you wait too long to text.
Keep that initial post-date text light, positive, and appreciative. It’s ok to keep it simple too. You can just saythat you had a great time and that you’d like to meet them again.
Being honest and genuine in your text will help set the foundation for a healthy relationship. A lighthearted and witty text can go the extra mile to make the other person laugh, show that you don’t take yourself too seriously, and kick off a more relaxed and fun conversation.
Overall, it doesn’t really matter who texts first after a first date as long as you feel comfortable with whatever approach you take. If the other person is interested in you, then that’ll remain the case no matter what. Remember, dating should be fun, so don’t stress too much about following some specific set of rules. Stay honest, light, and open.
2. When to Text After a First Date
Finding the right balance in texting after a date is crucial for maintaining interest and building a connection with your date.
The key to successful texting after a first date is finding a balance between expressing your interest clearly (or flirtatiously!) while also giving your date some breathing room and leaving an element of mystery and intrigue.
The worst thing you can do is kill a good momentum by bombarding your date with too many text messages, yet at the same time, you should show them that you had a great time and are interested in getting to know them better.
So when you’re ready to reach out, keep your texts clear, genuine, casual, light-hearted, and sincere.
3. Texting the Same Night as a First Date
You might be tempted to send a text message right away after a first date. We get it. You’re excited. That’s normal.
But take a second to pause and chill out.
It can be a good idea to give yourself and your date some time to reflect on your first date alone before starting up conversation again.
If you genuinely enjoyed the time together and want to show gratitude, it’s perfectly okay to text your date a brief message within a few hours after the date has ended, even within just a half hour or so. Keep that text simple, even so simple just as “I had a great time with you tonight.”
4. Reflecting and Waiting Before Texting
If you’re not completely sure how you feel about how the date went, it’s best to wait 24 to 48 hours before sending a text after the date.
This time gives both you and your date room to reflect on the experience and consider whether you’d like to see each other again.
When you do decide to text the other person, know for yourself how you feel and what your intentions are.
If you’re interested in texting them to kick off a conversation with the intention of planning a second date, then aim for a tone and message that is genuine, clear, and mirrors the interactions you had during your first date. For example, if you both shared some laughs, remind them of a particular funny moment or joke. If there was a deeper connection you felt during the date, you could reference a more meaningful conversation or moment you shared.
Here are a few pointers for crafting your text message to send after a good first date:
5. Keep it short, but not too short:
Generally, you’ll want to keep your texts brief in the initial exchanges after the first date. Strike a balance, though, and don’t make your texts too short that you seem disinterested.
6. Focus on the positives:
Mention something enjoyable or funny that happened during the date, or just express your gratitude for their time and company.
7. Be genuine:
Always be sincere in your message and let the conversation flow naturally based on the rapport you had during the date.
Remember that, after your first date, each of you may need some time to process your feelings and thoughts.
So, after you text them, be patient when waiting for them to respond to your text. Don’t freak out if they don’t reply right away. Give them some space and absolutely do not bombard them with messages. Avoid constantly checking your phone. Be patient and confident in your actions. It’ll increase your chances of securing a second date.
What to Text After a First Date
8. Compliments and Connection
After a first date, a polite and genuine text message can help convey your appreciation for the time you two shared, and incorporating compliments can help build on that connection.
Think about how you can give a specific compliment on something you enjoyed about the date and the other person. It could focus on something they said or did, something you had in common, a story they shared, or just a subtle mannerism of theirs you appreciated and admired.
9. Inside Jokes and Mutual Interests
One way to show your sense of humor and stimulate flirt and connection in texting after a first date is by referencing inside jokes or shared experiences from your date.
That’ll make you and your date feel more like a team and heighten connectedness.
One idea is to send a playful text or GIF related to an amusing moment you both experienced on the first date. This can strengthen your rapport, show that you were present and attentive during the first date, and signal that you genuinely enjoyed and remembered your time spent together.
10. Keeping the Momentum Going
Maintaining an ongoing conversation after the first date is crucial to keeping the connection alive and setting yourself up to plan a second date.
After that initial text, try to text regularly, share interesting updates, ask open-ended questions to get to know your date, and text them like you’d text a friend but with some more flirt and tease splashed in.
Avoid coming across as needy or intrusive. Find a balance between showing interest and giving your date space.
11. Texting About Second Date Ideas
If you’re interested in seeing your date again, then feel out a good moment in the text conversation to propose second date ideas. Think about your mutual interests and any topics that come up organically over text.
The best way to plan a second date is to capitalize on where the text conversation goes naturally, so it feels like scheduling a second date just makes sense and feels like a natural extension of the text conversation you’re already engaged in.
Avoiding Common Texting Pitfalls in Dating
12. Steer Clear of Ghosting and Games
Ghosting, where someone stops communication without explanation, is a definite no-no.
Getting ghosted sucks, and ghosting someone else isn’t a cool thing to do, ever.
When texting after a first date, important to be open and honest with your date, and if you feel the chemistry wasn’t there, then kindly let them know.
Communicate your thoughts and avoid playing games that can lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
13. Mind Your Tone
A lot of cues you get when talking to someone in person are lost over text, like tone of voice or body language.
That’s why having a clear tone in your text messages is crucial to conveying the right message.
Be mindful to avoid sarcasm in general, as it can be easily misunderstood through text.
14. Don’t Come Off as Needy
Show interest but don’t be too needy.
Avoid sending multiple unanswered texts or overwhelming your date with excessive questions.
Keep your texts concise and allow room for conversation, without smothering your date or making them feel uncomfortable.
15. How Often to Text After a First Date
There’s no set rule for how often you should text after the first date. It’ll ultimately depend on who you and your date are as people and what kind of connection you’re feeling, as well as what type of lifestyle you each live.
A good guideline is to text at least once a day, or at a minimum at least a text or two every other day in between dates. If you’re really connecting, then sending several texts a day can be a great way to develop your chemistry and bond.
Remember, it’s important to respect your date’s boundaries, be in touch with how they’re responding to your texts, and communicate at a pace that is comfortable and feels natural for both of you.
How to get more first dates from dating apps
Hopefully these tips give some insights into best practices for texting after a first date.
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