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Going for a Kiss on the Third Date: What to Know

Going for a Kiss on the Third Date: What to Know

Going for a kiss on the third date can be tricky.

Here’s everything you need to know.

Should You Kiss on the Third Date?

Yes. If you didn’t kiss on the first or second date, and you’re interested in kissing this person, then you should definitely go for a kiss on the third date.

By the time you reach the third date with someone, you probably have a good feel for what you’re looking to pursue with this person.

And no matter what direction this budding relationship may or may not go in, it can be important to have that first kiss sooner rather than later.

Don’t Wait TOO Long for That First Kiss

A first kiss can take your relationship to the next level, or at least help you see whether you and your date are compatible.

In our research surveying people on their dating experiences, we’ve found that 88% of people feel comfortable having a first kiss by the time they reach the third date.

In fact, most people view the second date as the ideal time for a first kiss, so you should be in the clear for a third date kiss.

Having a first kiss gives you useful information how compatible you and your date are.

That’s because when you kiss, you swap tons of genetic and physiological information with someone. This literal exchange of DNA sends signals to your brain that help you feel whether there’s chemistry or not.

So, have that first kiss sooner rather than later.

Read: After How Many Dates Should You Kiss?

Reflect on Possible Reasons Why You Haven’t Kissed Yet

If you haven’t kissed by the third date, it can be useful to reflect on why that might be.

It’s also important to remember that every relationship progresses at its own pace, and there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for physical intimacy.

Comfort levels

One possible reason why you may not have kissed by the third date is that one or both of you may not feel entirely comfortable with physical intimacy yet.

Everyone has their own comfort zones, and it’s important to respect and accept each other’s boundaries and pace.

It can be perfectly normal and healthy to wait several dates before kissing.


Another reason is that many people are shy or nervous when it comes to kissing, and it may take longer for them to feel comfortable enough to initiate a kiss.


The most unfortunate reason why people might go into a third date without having kissed yet is that there just isn’t chemistry between them.

While you may enjoy each other’s company and have a good time on your dates, there may be a lack of romantic chemistry that has made it feel unnatural or awkward to kiss.

It’s possible to have a strong emotional connection without feeling much physical attraction.

Read: 5 Signs of Chemistry on a First Date: How to Know It Went Well

No matter the reason…

You really don’t know for sure until you go for it.

So, no matter what reason it might be, it’s best to keep an open mind going into a third date.

Kissing on the third date can be a powerful way to see if you and your date are compatible and to make your feelings clear.

Read: 11 Pros & Cons of Kissing on the First Date

How to Have a Good Third Date Kiss

Pay attention to body language

Throughout the date, be sure to pay attention to your date’s body language and cues.

Are they leaning in towards you, making prolonged eye contact, or giving you subtle hints of physical touch?

These may be signs that they’re interested in a kiss.

Take it slow

When you feel ready to initiate the kiss, take it slow.

Don’t rush into the kiss.

Start with eye contact, a gentle touch, and a slow lean-in to build up the intimacy.

Be attentive to your date’s response. If they seem receptive, you can gradually move in for the kiss.

Be confident and present

When you feel ready to initiate the kiss, be confident and mindful.

Be self-assured and present in the moment. Avoid distractions and be fully attentive to your date.

Read: 4 Reasons Why Confidence is So Attractive

Just ask if you can kiss them

If you can’t get a cue nonverbally from your date, then you can just tell them verbally that you’d like to kiss them.

Sure, it may sound less romantic this way. But it’s a great way to ensure full consent and mutual interest, while also avoiding catching your date off guard with your kiss.

When exactly to kiss them during the date?

Of course, the best time to kiss would be a moment of natural chemistry that happens organically. Your eyes meet and you both effortlessly lean in.

But that magical third date kiss doesn’t always happen.

Feel out the date for a moment when you feel especially close and connected to your date. That could be a great time to go for the kiss.

If all else fails, go for the kiss at the end of the date when you’re saying goodbye.

Read: 12 Tips for Having a Great Coffee Date

The Risk of Not Kissing on the Third Date

Leaving the third date without a kiss comes with some risks.

Less emotional depth

Physical intimacy like kissing can be a natural progression in a romantic relationship, and delaying any kind of physical intimacy for too long may prevent the relationship from embracing a deeper emotional connection.

Dampening momentum

If you haven’t kissed after the third date, it may indicate that the relationship is not progressing.

It could potentially kill the momentum you created on the first two dates, leaving you or your date wondering about the future of the relationship.

Questioning attraction and compatibility

Physical intimacy, including kissing, can reveal potential incompatibilities between partners.

It can be a way to gauge chemistry, attraction, and overall compatibility.

If you haven’t kissed after the third date, it may leave you and your date questioning whether you’re even attracted to one another.

Missed chance for bonding

Refraining from kissing is also a missed opportunity for bonding.

Dates are all about bonding with someone new, and kissing can be a meaningful bonding experience.

It can create a sense of intimacy, closeness, and vulnerability with your partner.

Creating uncertainty and doubt

If you haven’t kissed by the end of the third date, it can create uncertainty and doubt in your mind.

You may start questioning the intentions, feelings, and level of interest from your date.

Ending a third date without having had a first kiss may send mixed signals or create uncertainty about where your relationship is headed.

The Beauty of a Third Date Kiss

While there are good reasons to kiss on the first or second dates, it can actually be great to wait and share a first kiss on the third date.

Here are some benefits of waiting until the third date to kiss.

Waiting to kiss builds emotional connection

When that first kiss is delayed, it allows for more time to focus on building an emotional connection with your date.

By getting to know each other on a deeper level through meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and genuine connection, you can establish a stronger emotional bond.

Building a solid foundation of emotional intimacy can create a stronger and more meaningful relationship in the long run.

You and your date develop trust and comfort first

Trust is a crucial component of any healthy relationship.

Waiting to kiss until the third date can give you more time to develop trust with your partner, while allowing one another to become comfortable in the other’s presence.

You’ll avoid rushed decisions

Physical intimacy can sometimes cloud judgment and lead to rushed decisions in a relationship.

By waiting to kiss until the third date, you give yourself and your partner more time to get to know each other without the added pressure and psychological toll of physical intimacy.

It allows you to make more thoughtful and informed decisions about the relationship and ensures that you both are comfortable and ready for the next step.

You’ll be more self-aware

Taking the time to wait before having a first kiss can make you more self-aware in your dating experience.

It allows you to reflect on your own feelings, desires, and boundaries.

It gives you the opportunity to be in tune with your own emotions and make sure that you’re comfortable and ready to deepen your bond with this person.

This self-awareness can contribute to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

The kiss is more likely to lead to a makeout

When you wait until the third date to kiss, all that built-up energy can explode when you and your date finally get to release it.

You’re likely to start with just a kiss and soon end up making out on the third date before it ends.

Waiting until the third date to kiss can build anticipation and excitement

Delaying a kiss can create anticipation and excitement in the relationship.

It can build up a sense of longing and desire, making the eventual physical intimacy even more special and meaningful. It can create a sense of mystery, adding depth and passion to the relationship.

How to use dating apps to land more dates

Hopefully these tips give some insights on what it means to kiss on the third date.

If you’re on dating apps and want to improve your dating profile so you land more dates, we have you covered.

We at The Match Lab offer professional services to create dating profiles that attract high-quality matches.

If you’d like to find out which are your most attractive photos to use in your dating profile, give our dating photo analyzer a try. Just upload some photos of yourself, and our algorithm will reveal which photos you should be using in your profile and the ideal order they should go in.

If you’re looking for help with writing your dating profile, then check out our professional dating profile writing service.

Related articles:

10 Reasons Why You Keep Having Bad First Dates

Which is the Best First Date? Coffee vs Drinks vs Dinner

7 Best Photos for Your Dating Profile

8 Reasons Why You Should Kiss on the Second Date

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