What to Text After a First Date
After getting back home from a good first date, you’re probably wondering what you should text this person.
And that’s a good thought to have — because what you text between the first and second date really matters.
The Short Answer:
Here are the essential elements of what to text after a first date:
- Let them know you had a good time
- Bring up a common interest
- Give them a genuine compliment
The Long Answer: It’s a balancing act…
Texting can make the difference between harnessing the momentum of a good first date vs. losing interest and risking there being no second date at all. Or the dire outcome of getting ghosted.
When texting after a first date, you want to show interest but not seem too eager.
You want to be genuine, mature, and sincere but also lighthearted, playful, flirty, and fun.
Texting, in the end, is a delicate balancing act.
But it doesn’t have to be so hard.
Here are some tips to think about when considering what to text someone after a first date.
Setting the Stage for a Second Date Over Text
Let’s start off by considering how to set the stage for a second date over text after you’ve had a good first date. This can be done best by expressing interest, choosing the right time to text, and crafting the perfect text message.
Express Interest
After a good first date, it’s important express your interest in seeing this person again for a second date clearly over text.
Let them know that you enjoyed meeting them and that you’re interested in going out again.
Be genuine and confident. A good place to start is by expressing your appreciation for the time you spent together on the first date. A simple “I had a great time” or “I enjoyed our conversation” can go a long way in showing your interest, especially when coupled with something like “I’d love to see you again.”
Choose the Right Time
Timing is important in knowing when to text after a first date.
You don’t want to appear too eager by texting too soon, but you also don’t want to leave your date hanging and cause them to lose interest by waiting too long before texting.
A good rule of thumb is to wait at least a few hours after the date or until the next day at the longest. If you really need time to think, then 48 hours wait after the date should be an absolute maximum.
Although there’s no one-size-fits-all rule for exactly when to send a post-date text, you really shouldn’t wait for more than a day or two.
Waiting too long to text after a first date can send mixed signals, cause the other person to lose interest, or just come off as though you are disinterested, unreliable, or too busy to date right now.
Text Content: What to Say
When writing your text, keep it light and genuine. Avoid coming on too strong or being overly formal. Dating should be fun, and so should the time in between dates.
After expressing your appreciation for your first date and a desire to see each other again, asking about your date’s day or referencing something you discussed during the first date can help break the ice and get a conversation going.
A bold move is to give your date a compliment. Tell them what you liked about them and why you’re interested in getting to know them more.
An even bolder move is to go for it off the bat. This isn’t for everyone, but if it’s your style to text minimally and be direct, then write something like, “I had a great time with you last night, and I’d love to meet again. Are you free next weekend?”
Inside Jokes
Inside jokes are great for bonding with someone you’ve just started dating.
Mentioning an inside joke or memorable moment from your first date in your text can create a sense of connection and make your text more engaging.
If you both laughed about a shared experience or found common ground in some interest or hobby, then mention that in your text to rekindle the spark you felt when you were together in person. It’ll also show that you were paying attention and present during your first date and that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them.
The Art of Communication Over Text
Keep It Short and Sweet
When texting after a first date, it’s best to keep your texts concise and to the point.
You don’t want to overwhelm your date with long messages or seem clingy or needy. Limit your texts, at first, to just a few sentences. For example, express your gratitude for the first date, and let the person know you’d like to see them again.
Keeping your post-date texts short and sweet demonstrates confidence and respect for the other person’s time.
Often, the fewest words say the most.
Avoid Ghosting and Playing Games
If you’re looking to date somebody, then they deserve your respect and you should receive theirs.
Ghosting and playing games isn’t fun for anyone involved. This kind of texting can hurt a potential connection and lead to misunderstandings.
After a first date, try to stay in touch over text consistently and send that first text within the first 24 hours after the first date.
Try to express your feelings honestly and avoid manipulating the situation or playing hard to get.
If you’re genuinely interested in continuing the conversation, make it clear. And if you’re not interested in this person, then kindly let them know that instead of leading them on.
Find Common Interests
Finding and building on common interests is a good way to connect with someone you’re dating.
In addition to this happening during your actual dates, you can use texting as a way to discover and explore common interests and build a strong connection with your date.
Keep the conversation light, engaging, and open by discussing mutual hobbies, recent events, or shared experiences from your date and by asking plenty of open-ended questions to learn more. Give your date the opportunity to tell you about themselves. This will show your interest in getting to know them better, and they’ll appreciate it.
Recall a specific moment or shared experience from the date that left a lasting impression on you. Reliving this experience can give you a lot of benefits for building attraction after a first date. It not only serves as a pleasant reminder of the positive time you spent together on the date, but also creates a feeling that you two have a natural rapport and shared way of looking at the world.
Watching Your Tone When Texting After a First Date
Flirty and Romantic Messages
When considering what to text after a first date, you should strike a balance between being flirty and romantic, while also being genuine and avoiding seeming inauthentic.
Keep your messages light and fun, without being overly suggestive. Keep the sexual references for later on in the relationship.
Giving your date compliments over text is a great way to express your interest and make them feel good. Experiment with emojis to convey your feelings but be careful not to go overboard. Emojis should complement your words, not replace them.
Boosting Your Date’s Ego
Everyone likes to feel good about themselves, and people love when the person they’re dating boosts their confidence.
Sending a text message that boosts your date’s ego but keeps them wanting more can be a winning strategy after a first date, building tension as you anticipate the second date.
You could mention something specific they said or did that impressed you, or tell them what intrigues you about them that makes them unique from other people. Make them feel special and seen for who they are.
Simply showing your appreciation for their company on the first date can also make them feel good about themselves.
Sexting and Its Potential Consequences
While sexting can be an exciting way to communicate with someone you’re dating, it’s generally way too early to start sexting after the first date.
Remember that your tone can be easily misinterpreted over text, and your date might not be as comfortable with explicit conversations as you are.
It’s always safer to keep your messages more appropriate, rather than delving into overtly sexual grounds before you know for sure that your date is comfortable with that. Otherwise, it’ll backfire on you majorly, and there probably won’t be a second date in store.
Example Texts to Get You Started After a First Date
If you’re still wondering what to text after a first date, here are a few examples to help you craft a good text message.
Simple and direct:
A straightforward text is a reliable option. You could try something like, “I had a great time with you last night. Looking forward to seeing you again soon.” This clearly lets your date know you enjoyed their company and are interested in spending more time together.
Bond over a mutual interest:
If you discovered a shared passion or hobby during your date, use it to your advantage when texting after a first date. For example, you can text them a link to an article, meme, or video related to whatever it is you have in common. Include with it a message like, “Hey, I saw this and thought of you.” This shows that you were paying attention during your first date conversation and want to connect more over what you two have in common.
Use humor in texting:
After a good first date, sending a funny text can be a great way to keep the conversation going as you plan a second date. For example, you could make a self-depracating joke or tease your date lightly about something they did during the date. Humor can help you bond with your date and show that you’re not taking yourself too seriously and are fun to be around.
Suggest a specific plan for a second date:
If you want to see the person again for a second date, then proposing a specific activity can help keep the momentum going and make sure that happens. For example, you can text, “Thank you for last night – I had a really great time with you. Are you around on Friday night to go out for dinner?”
Knowing what to text after a first date can be challenging, but taking the time to think through what you’ll say before you send it can go a long way.
When you express yourself thoughtfully and convey your feelings and intentions effectively, you can up your odds of building chemistry and securing that second date.
How to get more first dates from dating apps
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