The Match Lab

4 Tips for Texting Between the Second and Third Date

When you’ve had a great second date, you’re probably itching to see this person again.

And there’s only one thing between you and that third date: texting.

4 Tips for Texting Between the Second and Third Date

4 Tips for Texting Between the Second and Third Date:

1. Understand Why Texting After the Second Date is So Important

You should definitely text between the second and third date to keep up a consistent line of communication and momentum.

Texting between dates is an essential way to stay in touch, share updates, maintain a connection, and cultivate a feeling of closeness between dates.

Here are some reasons why texting between the second and third date is important and how it can impact the development of a potential relationship.

Texting after the second date can increase your chance of having a third date

After a great second date, you’re likely feeling excited about the idea of going on a third date.

But in many cases, that third date isn’t guaranteed to happen — just because the second date went well doesn’t mean there will be a third date.

Texting between dates helps maintain momentum and keeps the existing connection alive. If your date is on the fence about you, then effective texting with them after the second date will boost your appeal and pique their interest.

When you text well in between these two crucial dates, you can show continued interest in the other person, express yourself authentically, and keep the conversation going naturally. That way, the third date feels like an organic continuation of the second date.

Read: Going for a Kiss on the Third Date: What to Know

Texting between dates establishes communication in a budding relationship

The way you and your partner text between the second and third date can help establish communication norms and set expectations for how you’ll interact with each other between seeing each other in person.

It’s a chance to understand each other’s communication style, preferences, and responsiveness. Are they quick or slow to respond? Do they prefer longer or shorter texts? Do they use emojis or prefer a more formal tone?

These cues can tell you about what their personality and communication styles are like, which can help you understand them better as you go into the third date.

Texting can be a way to deepen your connection

When you express yourself genuinely and vulnerably over text, you can deepen the connection between you and your date.

Texting gives an opportunity to share more about yourself, exchange stories, share your life experiences and goals, and get to know each other on a more intimate level.

By sharing snippets of your daily life, what interests you have, and letting the other person see how your mind works, you can create a sense of intimacy, familiarity, and comfort.

This can help deepen your emotional connection and make your third date more meaningful.

Texting helps you see how compatible you two are

Texting between the second and third date can help you assess your compatibility with your date by teaching you more about their values, interests, and lifestyles.

You can get a better sense of how well this person aligns with who you are and what you’re looking for.

Texting can be also useful in managing intentions and expectations as you go into the third date.

It’s important to be clear and open about your intentions, desires, and expectations in dating this person. If you’re looking for something casual or a more serious relationship, you should communicate that earlier rather than later.

Communicating intentions and expectations through texting can be a more comfortable environment for many people compared to having these types of conversations in person.

Read: 5 Signs of Chemistry on a First Date: How to Know It Went Well

Texting can build trust early on in the relationship

Trust is a key element of any relationship, and thoughtful texting can help build trust between you and your date.

When you text in a way that is reliable, consistent, responsive, and sensitive, you show your partner that you are a safe and trustworthy person they can count on.

2. Understand the Risk of Not Texting Between the Second and Third Date

Not texting between the first and second date can potentially jeopardize an emerging relationship.

Here’s why:

You may lose momentum

If you’ve just had a great second date, then not texting between the second and third date can cause you to lose momentum.

The excitement and connection you felt during the second date may start to fade, and the lack of communication can create doubts or uncertainties about intentions, level of interest, and priorities.

If there’s no text after the second date, your date may wonder whether you’re suddenly no longer interested, if something went wrong, or if just you’re playing hard to get. These concerns can erode feelings of trust and partnership.

You miss opportunities to deepen your bond

Texting can help deepen the connection between you and your date, and not texting after the second date can prevent your connection from growing.

If you don’t text between dates, then you can’t share more about yourselves, exchange thoughts and experiences, or get to know each other more deeply. You may also miss out on natural opportunities to plan future dates and cultivate healthy banter and flirt.

These missed opportunities can create feelings of distance between you and your date and leave each of you feeling less interested.

You may give off unclear intentions

If you don’t text after the second date, then your date may start to question your intentions.

They may question your level of interest and commitment, and this uncertainty can lead them to feel insecure, disinterested, and disengaged.

Your date may feel hesitant to express their own feelings or intentions if they feel unsure of where you stand and how you express yourself.

Read: 4 Reasons Why Confidence is So Attractive

3. When to Text After the Second Date

How soon should you text after the second date?

If a second date clearly goes well, you should definitely text your date within 24 hours after the date ends.

Ideally, text them within a few hours after the date.

Is there a risk of text them too soon after the second date?

Yes, it’s possible.

Texting just a few minutes after the date ends and you part ways could be too soon, as it may seem clingy and overeager.

So, it’s usually best to let at least a half hour or an hour pass.

But beyond that, there’s no reason to play games and force yourself to wait longer. If you want to text them shortly after the second date, then just go for it.

How often should you text after a second date?

As a general rule of thumb, if there’s good chemistry, you should should be texting on a daily basis after the second date.

Whether that means you each send one text a day or several texts, it doesn’t matter much. Even going a day or two without texting is fine.

As long as you have steady communication to touch base, enjoy getting to know each other, and plan your third date, it’s perfectly ok however often you text.

The reality is, people have all kinds of different preferences on texting frequency so it’s hard to generalize.

So, just text them as often as you’d like. Don’t overthink it.

And if you’re not interested in a third date…

If you know you’re not interested in going on a third date, then don’t play games.

Don’t be that person who’s slow texting after the second date, leaving the other person hanging and wondering if they’ll even hear back from you.

The best thing you can do is be direct and honest, respectfully telling them you aren’t feeling the connection you’re looking for and wish them well.

Read: 12 Tips for Having a Great Coffee Date

4. What to Text After the Second Date

Here are some ideas for what to text between the second and third date to keep the conversation flowing.

Reference a memorable moment from the second date

By referencing something specific from the second date over text, you can show that you were attentive and engaged in the date, while bringing up a positive memory in your date’s mind.

Reference something specific from the second date that created good feelings and a positive mood in each of you.

It could be something you talked about that made you laugh or smile, a unique place you visited together on the date, or a shared interest you discovered you have. Reliving a fond moment will create another shared experience for you two to bond over.

Talk about a future date idea

Remember, the main point of texting after the second date is to plan the third date.

So, when thinking about what to text your date about, a good place to start is to suggest a future date idea or brainstorm ideas together. If you already discussed some idea on your first or second date, then revisit those ideas and suggest one of them for your third date.

One way to talk about a future date idea over text is to let the ideas come up naturally. Ask your date open-ended questions and get to know them and their interests. Find out places in town they have always wanted to visit. Or bring up your own ideas and interests and see what you connect over. Then, suggest that thing to be a third date activity.

An alternative way to talk about a future date idea over text is to be direct and just ask them if they’d like to do some particular thing with you for your next date.

Read: 12 Tips for Having a Perfect Hiking Date

Get flirty over text before the third date

Flirting is a fun way to build further chemistry, momentum, excitement, and playfulness between the second and third date.

Here are some tips for sending flirty texts.


Genuine compliments can show interest and flirtatiousness powerfully.

Avoid generic compliments. Instead, focus on specific things you genuinely appreciate about the person.

Be as specific and unique as you can be. Ideally, give a compliment they may not have heard before.

Playful teasing

Playful teasing can be another fun way to flirt over text between dates, especially when used along with compliments.

Keep it lighthearted and playful. Having had just two dates, you may not know their boundaries too well yet, so you’ll want to avoid going too far and offending them.

Tease them about a cute habit or quirk they have. Use some suggestive language, though take caution not to overdo it.

Inside jokes

Sharing inside jokes is another way to flirt when texting between the second and third date.

Inside jokes create a sense of intimacy and closeness, even if you’ve only been on two dates. That’s because inside jokes are something only you two are in on.

Knowing what to text after a second date is all about knowing the person you’re dating. And what a better way to do that than by saying something only they would understanding?

Referencing inside jokes from your previous dates can be a great way to deepen your connection and bring back fond memories.

Read: 40 Funny Hinge Prompt Answers (for Guys & Women)


Playful emojis are a great way to add a flirty tone to your texts.

Use emojis strategically to convey your emotions and complement your texts to enhance the flirty vibe.

Some classics are to use the winky face 😉 or a teasing tongue-out face 😜 to add a touch of flirt to your texts.

How to use dating apps to land more first dates (and second & third dates)

Hopefully these tips give some insights into texting between the second and third date.

If you’re on dating apps and want to improve your dating profile so you land more first dates that lead to second and third dates, we have you covered.

We at The Match Lab offer professional services to create dating profiles that attract high-quality matches.

If you’d like to find out which are your most attractive photos to use in your dating profile, give our dating photo analyzer a try. Just upload some photos of yourself, and our algorithm will reveal which photos you should be using in your profile and the ideal order they should go in.

If you’re looking for help with writing your dating profile, then check out our professional dating profile writing service.

Related articles:

After How Many Dates Should You Kiss?

12 Tips for Having a Great Coffee Date

7 Best Photos for Your Dating Profile

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