30 Best Car Jokes
Why do cars make terrible comedians?
They always brake the punchline.
Why did the car apply for a new job?
It wanted to shift gears.
Why do racecar drivers give the best dating advice?
They’re trained to look for red flags.
Why was the car cold?
It left its windows down.
How do cars keep their secrets?
They auto-lock.
Why was the car always fit?
It had regular tune-ups.
What do cars eat on their toast?
Traffic jam.
Why don’t cars work after you change their wheels?
Because they are retired.
Why did the electric car go to court?
It was charged with battery.
Why was the car so motivated?
It was always driven.
Why did the car break up with the GPS?
It was tired of being told where to go.
Why did the car go to the concert?
To listen to some heavy metal.
What do you call a car that’s always joking?
A Pun-tiac.
What’s a car’s favorite meal?
Brake-fast.
Read: 32 Car Pick Up Lines That Are Funny & Flirty
Why did the car break up with the road?
It was a one-way street.
Why was the car always smiling?
It had a grill to show off.
What do you call a car that’s a good cook?
A Chef-rolet.
Why did the car get tired?
It had an exhaust problem.
Why did the car go to the spa?
To get a wax.
Why was the car always calm?
It had cruise control.
Why did the car get an award at school?
For outstanding performance.
What do you call a car that loves to party?
A car-nival.
Why did the car refuse to start?
It needed a brake.
Why don’t software engineers drive Volkswagen?
They’re too buggy.
What do you get when you cross a car with a pet?
Carpet.
Why did the washing machine schedule a test drive?
Because he wanted to go for a spin.
Why did the car join the debate team?
It wanted to steer the conversation.
Why was the car always tired?
It kept running out of gas.
What’s a car’s favorite game?
Fuel-in-the-blank.
What do you call a German electric car?
Voltswagen.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I am about to change.