The Match Lab

40 Best Soccer Jokes

soccer-jokes

What’s a soccer player’s favorite beverage? Penal-tea.

Why do soccer players make terrible bank robbers? Because their shots always get saved.

Why did the soccer player sit on the sideline and draw pictures of chickens? He was learning how to draw fowls.

Why do soccer players do well in school? They know how to use their heads!

Why did the soccer ball go to school? To get kicked out!

Why did the soccer player get hired so easily at any job? Every employer knew he was goal-oriented.

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Why was the soccer team so bad at math? They couldn’t count on their goalkeeper.

Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? To tie up the score.

Why don’t grasshoppers play soccer? They’re afraid of the net.

How do soccer players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite candy? Kick-Kats.

Why did the soccer player go to the party? To kick things off!

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What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of music? Hip hopscotch.

What do you call a dinosaur that plays soccer? A dino-score.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of cake? A bundt cake.

Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of being kicked around.

What’s a ghost’s favorite soccer position? Ghoul-keeper.

Why did the soccer player break up with the referee? They couldn’t agree on the ground rules.

Why was the soccer field so wet? The players dribbled all over it.

Why did the soccer player go to jail? For shooting the ball.

Why did the soccer team go to space? To shoot for the stars.

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What do you call a soccer player with a toe injury? A toe-ken player.

Why was the soccer coach so good at fishing? He knew how to cast a wide net.

Why are soccer players so good at math? They know how to find the right angle.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite vegetable? A goal-iflower.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of fish? A goal-fish.

Why did the soccer player bring a spoon to the game? To stir up the competition.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of tea? A goal-long tea.

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Why did the soccer player become a gardener? He was great at planting shots.

Why did the soccer player become a pilot? He loved making high-flying saves.

What do you call a soccer player who’s also a comedian? A pun-alty expert.

Why are soccer players so good at parties? They know how to kick things off.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of chocolate? A kick-kat bar.

Why did the soccer player go to the doctor? He had a case of the dribbles.

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What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of pasta? A goal-gnese sauce.

Why did the soccer player go to the farm? To practice his field goals.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of cookie? A kick-er doodle.

Why did the soccer player become a tailor? He had a knack for stitching up the defense.

Why are soccer players so good at gardening? They know how to seed the field.

Why are soccer players so good at recycling? They know how to reuse and repurpose their shots.

What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of candy? A goal-ly rancher.

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