25 Best Soccer Jokes
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running away from the ball.
Why are soccer stadiums so cool?
Because of all the fans.
Why did the soccer player sit on the sideline and draw pictures of chickens?
He was learning how to draw fowls.
Why did the soccer player go to jail?
For shooting the ball.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
To tie up the score.
What’s a soccer player’s favorite beverage?
Penal-tea.
Why couldn’t the soccer player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.
What do you call a soccer player who’s also a comedian?
A pun-alty expert.
Read: 31 Soccer Pick Up Lines
Why didn’t the soccer player ever check his phone?
He loved missed calls.
Why did the soccer player get hired at every job?
Every employer knew he was goal-oriented.
Why do soccer players hate shallow pools?
Because there’s no diving.
Why did the soccer team go to the bank?
To get their balance right before the game.
Why did the soccer player take up knitting?
To weave through the defense more effectively.
Why was the soccer player upset on his birthday?
He got a red card!
Read: 35 Best Basketball Jokes
What’s a soccer player’s favorite candy?
Kick-Kats.
Why did the soccer ball quit?
It was tired of being kicked around.
What do you call a soccer player’s favorite position at a haunted house?
Ghoul-keeper.
What do soccer players and magicians have in common?
Both do hat tricks.
Why do soccer players make terrible bank robbers?
Because their shots always get saved.
Why are scrambled eggs like your favorite soccer team?
Because they’ve both been beaten hard.
Why did the soccer player become a gardener?
He was great at planting shots.
How do soccer players start a work meeting?
By kicking things off.
How did the soccer player get so drunk?
He took too many shots.
Why did the soccer player go to the farm?
To practice his field goals.
Why are soccer players so good at recycling?
They know how to reuse and repurpose their shots.