The Match Lab

31 Best December Jokes


How many seconds are there in December? One: December 2nd.

Where does December come before November? In the dictionary.

Why can’t snowmen lose their temper? They’ll have a meltdown.

Why is it always cold on Christmas? Because it’s in Decemburrr.

Who’s a snowman’s favorite rapper? Ice Cube.

Read: 31 Best January Jokes

What do you call an elf who raps? A wrapper.

How do paychecks come in December? In cold hard cash.

What can you catch in December with your eyes closed? A cold.

What kind of ball doesn’t bounce in December? A snowball.

Why did December get a parking ticket? It left its sleigh in a snow parking zone.

Read: 25 Best Christmas Knock Knock Jokes

Why don’t mountains get cold in December? They wear snow caps.

What do sheep say to each other in December? “Fleece Navidad.”

What’s an elf’s favorite day at school? Snow and tell.

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor in December? He felt crummy.

What does December use to browse the web? The winternet.

Read: 36 Christmas Pick Up Lines

Why was the computer cold in December? It left its Windows open.

What’s December’s favorite breakfast? Ice Krispies.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast in December? Frosted Flakes.

Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank.

What do you get if you cross December with a vampire? Frostbite.

Read: 30 Best ‘It’s So Cold…’ Jokes

Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist? For low “elf” esteem.

What do you call an expired snowman? Water.

What do you wear to a wedding in December? A snowsuit.

Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.

What do you call an elf who wins the lottery in December? Welfy.

Read: 50 Best Deez Nuts Jokes

What did January say to December? “New Year, huh? New me, old you.”

What did May say to December? “I bring flowers, you just bring chills.”

Why do snowmen like December? It’s when they can finally stick together.

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed in December? A cookie sheet.

Read: 25 Best Nut Jokes

What do you call dirty dancing at Santa’s house? North pole dancing.

What do you call a formal dance in December? A snowball.

What’s December’s favorite type of music? Chill out.

What did the snowman say to the customer? “Have an ice day.”

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

Read: 30 Funniest Monday Jokes

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