30 Funniest Ford Jokes

What’s the difference between a Ford and a porcupine?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

How do you double the value of a Ford?
Fill up the gas tank.

What do you call a Ford at the top of a hill?
A miracle.

How do you make a Ford accelerate 0-60 mph in less than a second?
Push it off a cliff.

What’s found on the last two pages of every Ford’s user manual?
The bus schedule.

How do you know if a Ford owner is well off?
He has a second car to actually get to work.

Why did the Ford go to therapy?
It had too many breakdowns.

What do you call two Fords at the top of a hill?
A mirage.

Why don’t Fords sustain any tornado damage?
They’re always in the garage.

What’s the easiest way to keep your Ford from being stolen?
Park it on a hill.

Why are there sidewalks beside most roads?
So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

What do you call a Ford that actually works?
Fiction.

What’s the difference between a Ford and a shopping cart?
A shopping cart is easier to push.

How do you turn a Ford into a sports car?
Stick a tennis ball in the exhaust pipe.

Why do Ford owners walk with a limp?
From kicking the tires too often.

What do you call a Ford with brakes that work?
An anomaly.

Why did the Ford apply for a job?
It wanted to learn how to work properly.

What’s the difference between a Ford and a tampon?
A tampon comes with its own tow rope.

How do you make a Ford start on a cold day?
You don’t.

What do you call someone who buys a used Ford?
A risk-taker.

Why did the Ford Focus go to therapy?
It had too many issues to deal with.

What’s the best getaway car?
Ford Escape.

How is a golf ball different from a Ford?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because his Ford got stuck on the other side.

Why did Ford start making tractors?
So they have something to tow their trucks to the shop.

85% of all Fords made are still on the road today…
The other 15% made it home.

Why don’t Ford owners make good comedians?
They can tell a joke but they can’t drive a joke home.

How do you identify a Ford engine?
There’s oil leaking from it.

How do you know if a Ford owner is well off?
He has a second car to actually get to work.

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