The Match Lab

30 Funniest September Jokes

september-jokes

What’s a tree’s least favorite month?
Sep-timber!

Why is September so good at math?
Every day, it subtracts a few degrees from yesterday’s temperature.

Why did Humpty Dumpty love September?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Where does September come after October?
In the dictionary.

Isn’t it ironic that we celebrate LABOR Day by not working?

Why are trees so carefree and easygoing in September?
Because every fall, they let loose.

Why did September go to the optometrist?
It couldn’t see the summer ending.

What did September say when it had a crush on October?
“I’m falling for you.”

How many seconds are there in September?
One: September 2nd.

Why do birds fly south in September?
Because it’s quicker than walking.

Read: 45 Best Fall Jokes

What did the leaves say on August 31st?
“Rake me up when September ends.”

Why do people with a fear of heights hate September?
They’re afraid of the fall.

Why did the computer get cold in September?
It left its Windows open!

What’s September’s favorite type of vest?
A fall harvest.

Why don’t leaves get lonely in September?
They hang out in bunches.

What did July say to September?
“You’re just the awkward time in between fireworks and Halloween.”

What did December say to September?
“I bring white Christmases, you just bring back-to-school blues.”

Why did the chicken cross the road in September?
To get to the other cider.

Why was the broom late to work in September?
Because it overswept.

Read: 30 Best ‘It’s So Hot…’ Jokes

What did October say to September?
“Nice leaves, I’ll take it from here with the real fall colors.”

What’s a tree’s favorite fall drink?
Root beer.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on in September?
It let out a little wine.

What did September say to June?
“While I save daylight, you just darken the days.”

What did May say to September?
“I shower the world with flowers, you just clog up the gutters.”

What did March say to September?
“At least when I change the weather, it’s called hope.”

What did February say to September?
“I’m the shortest month, and I still have more holidays than you.”

What did May say to September?
“I bring beauty to the world; you just bring cold winds.”

Why was the skeleton so relaxed in September?
Because he had no bones to pick.

Why don’t summer and September get along?
They have a falling out every year.

What’s Harry Potter’s favorite spell to do in September?
Leafus disappearus.

Now that September has ended, did anyone remember to wake up Green Day?

Read: 31 Funniest October Jokes

Also read: 52 Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

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