50 Pumpkin Jokes That Are Clever & Funny
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash!
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Why was Cinderella not very good at softball?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts!
What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
A pumpkin patch.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?
Good-pie everyone.
Why did the pumpkin hire an electrician?
To become a jack-o’-lantern!
Why was the pumpkin blushing at the Halloween party?
Because it saw the boo-ty!
Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre of music?
Vine-yl!
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Why did the pumpkin jump?
It was caught off gourd.
Why was the pumpkin afraid to go to the Halloween party?
It heard there was a carving contest!
What do you call a pumpkin that plays a lot of sports?
A jock-o-lantern!
Why did the pumpkin go to the gym?
To become a jacked-o’-lantern!
What do you call a pumpkin who works at the beach?
A life gourd.
What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
Please use apples instead.
Why did the jack-o’-lantern go to the doctor?
It had a hollow feeling inside!
What do you call a pumpkin pie that’s a detective?
A pie-vate investigator!
What do you call a pumpkin that complains a lot?
A grumpkin!
Why did the pumpkin sit on the computer?
It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
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Why did the pumpkin go to the gym?
To work on its stem-ina!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie?
Pulp Fiction!
How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
What do pumpkins eat at the cinema?
Pulp corn!
What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
You look a little sick.
Why do pumpkins make great detectives?
Because they have a lot of gourd instincts!
Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
Because it fell off the wagon!
What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
“How about you use apples instead?”
Why did the pumpkin go to art school?
Because it wanted to learn how to draw a good Jack-o-lantern!
Why was the pumpkin so good at football?
It knew how to squash the competition!
What do you call the grand leader of all pumpkins?
The Pumpking!
Why did the pumpkin go to the music festival?
To hear the pumpkin rock bands!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s a great dancer?
A jive-o-lantern!
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Why was the pumpkin not allowed on the plane?
It had too much pumpkin spice in its luggage!
What do you call a pretty pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor?
It had a patchy complexion!
Why did the pumpkin refuse to play football?
It was afraid of getting squashed!
Why did the pumpkin bring a ladder to the apple tree?
To see what the big apple was all about!
What do you call a pumpkin that can bench press 100 pounds?
A heavyweight gourd!
Why did the pumpkin go to the party with a suitcase?
It wanted to have a gourd time!
What do you call a pumpkin comedian?
A joke-o-lantern!
Why do pumpkins make great friends?
Because they’re always gourd-geous together!
Why do pumpkins go to the farmer’s market?
To show off their produce!
What’s orange and faster than a speeding train?
Super Pumpkin.
Why was the pumpkin so good at making friends?
It was always vine and dandy!
Why did the pumpkin start a band with the watermelon?
Because they had great melon-choly tunes!
What did the pumpkin say to the cucumber?
You’re kind of a big dill!
Why was the pumpkin sad?
It had a squash-ing blow to its self-esteem!
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