50 Uranus Jokes That Are Actually Funny
What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
They both scour Uranus in search of Klingons.
How do you organize an orgy in space?
You planet on Uranus.
Why don’t we inhabit Uranus?
That place is a Gas Hole.
How do you set Uranus on fire?
Eat a few too many jalapeños.
Why was Uranus always mad?
Because it was the butt of everyone’s jokes.
Why do aliens avoid Uranus?
Too much gas.
What did one gay astronaut say to the other gay astronaut?
“Hmmm… Uranus or mine?”
Why is Uranus so dangerous?
It’s leaking toxic gases.
What’s the best day to visit Uranus?
When it’s showing off its full moon.
What kind of music does Uranus like?
Neptunes.
What do you call someone who flies a spaceship to Uranus?
An asstronaut.
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What does Uranus do when it acts out?
It moons everyone.
Why do some wish their name was Voyager 2?
So they could have the first encounter with Uranus.
What’s worse than a satellite around Saturn?
A probe in Uranus.
Why do space missions avoid Uranus?
Because it’s a pain to explore.
What do you call a party on Uranus?
A blast off.
Why does Uranus never get invited to parties?
It always brings a gas cloud.
How do you keep secrets on Uranus?
In a black hole.
What do you call it when you shrink the solar system and Uranus ends up exactly where you expect it?
Astronomy with a twist.
Why is Uranus the coldest planet in our galaxy?
Because the sun don’t shine there.
What’s an astronaut’s kink?
Taking photos of Uranus.
Why did Mars turn permanently red?
Because it saw Uranus.
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Why don’t books start in Uranus?
Because you can’t start a story with an ending.
How does Uranus cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
Why did the pervert take a telescope into the bathroom?
Because he wanted to see Uranus.
Why did Uranus get more visitors than other planets?
Because everyone wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Why do some people think Uranus should be renamed?
Because it’s tired of being the butt of all jokes.
Why is it best to stand against a wall when you visit NASA?
They love exploring Uranus.
Why did the teacher ask Little Johnny which planet is closest to Earth?
Because she wanted to see if he’d mention Uranus.
Why was the music note afraid of Uranus?
It didn’t want to be flat.
What did the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
“I can see Uranus from here!”
Why did Uranus get more visitors than other planets?
Because everyone wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
What’s the difference between Uranus and Earth?
Uranus has one a**hole, Earth has many.
Why was there only ever one mission to Uranus?
Because it was full of sh*t!
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Where’s the best place to hide drugs in space?
Uranus.
What did Uranus do when it had a rough day?
It just let loose.
Why did the wind on Uranus stop suddenly?
The gas broke.
What’s the best thing about Uranus?
It’s always good for a laugh.
Why was Uranus the last planet to be discovered?
Because nobody wanted to go there.
Why did Uranus get a job as a comedian?
It’s a natural gas!
Why don’t they let the sex molester become an astronaut?
They didn’t want him getting near Uranus.
What’s more annoying than lobsters around Saturn?
Crabs around Uranus.
Why do we keep Earth clean?
Because it’s not Uranus.
Why do space explorers avoid Uranus?
They’ve heard it’s full of gas.
Why was Uranus voted the worst planet to visit?
Because it’s gassy and has a terrible reputation.
Why is Uranus the most misunderstood planet?
Because it’s the butt of every joke.
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