50 Squirrel Jokes So Funny, They'll Drive You Nuts
Why don’t squirrels have friends?
They drive everyone nuts.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite streaming service?
Nut-flix.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Why are squirrels so good at reporting the news?
They give it to you in a nutshell.
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call it when two squirrels get into a fight?
A squarrel.
Why did the squirrel bury tuna?
Because tuna spelled backward is “a nut.”
What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet?
The Nutcracker.
What’s a squirrel’s least favorite month?
No Nut November.
What do you call a squirrel in space?
An astro-nut.
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What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A s-quarrel.
Why do squirrels succeed in finance?
They’re natural branch managers.
What do squirrels like even more than peanut butter?
Nutella.
What do you call a squirrel detective?
Squirrel-ock Holmes.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite spice?
Nutmeg.
Why are squirrels so good at explaining things?
They give it to you in a nutshell.
Why did the squirrel’s new diet seem crazy?
It was just nuts.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite horror movie?
“The Nutmare on Elm Tree.”
What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet?
The Nutcracker.
What did the nut say to the funny squirrel?
“You crack me up.”
Why did the squirrel get lost in the forest?
It followed the wrong root.
What do you call a squirrel that can withstand interrogation?
A tough nut to crack.
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What do you call a squirrel in space?
An astro-nut.
What did the baby squirrel say after being surprised?
“Are you kit-ding me?”
What do you call a squirrel that tells tall tales?
A nutty fibber.
What do squirrels wear on their feet?
Cashews.
What did the squirrel say to his girlfriend?
“Nut-hing compares to you.”
Why did the squirrel get suspended from school?
It got caught eating peanuts in a nut-free zone.
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chip-monk.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite horror movie?
“The Nutmare on Elm Tree.”
What’s a squirrel’s favorite number?
Tree.
What did the squirrel say when he couldn’t decide on something?
“I’m on the fence about this.”
Why did the squirrel begin selling nuts?
To become a Brazilian-aire.
Why did the squirrel take the elevator?
It was tired of going nuts on the stairs!
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Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet?
The Nutcracker.
What kind of steak does a squirrel eat?
Squirrel-oin.
What kind of stories do squirrels like?
Long tails.
Why did the squirrel cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why do squirrels let their acorns sit in water?
To let them mari-nut.
What do squirrels and photographers have in common?
They both like to focus on the little things.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite spice?
Nutmeg.
What do you call a lazy squirrel?
A ro-don’t.
Why do squirrels see the future when it’s dark?
They have great night vision.
Why don’t squirrels ever get locked out?
They always have a spare nut!
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