The Match Lab

31 Funniest August Jokes

august-jokes

What do you call a temper tantrum in August?
A meltdown.

What do you call a snowman in August?
A puddle.

What happens to a banana if it doesn’t use sunscreen in August?
It peels.

Why was August so popular?
Because it had a lot of fans.

Why did August see a therapist?
It had separation anxiety from July.

Why did the computer overheat in August?
It had too many windows open.

How many seconds are there in August?
One: August 2nd.

Why did the car break down in August?
It was two-tired from the heat.

Why did the ice cream truck break down in August?
It was so hot it had a meltdown.

Why did August break up with July?
It couldn’t handle another summer fling.

What do baseball fans do together in August?
The heatwave.

Read: 30 Best ‘It’s So Hot…’ Jokes

What do you call a dirty bedroom in August?
A hot mess.

What did October say to August?
“I have Halloween; what do you have? Another day of sweating?”

Why did August visit the bank?
To save some daylight.

Why did the vegetable garden throw a party in August?
It wanted to celebrate the “beets” of summer!

What did April say to August?
“My showers bring flowers, what do you bring? Sweat stains?”

What did September say to August?
“Everyone celebrates my arrival, because it means you’re leaving.”

What type of conditioner goes best with shampoo in August?
Air conditioner.

Why did the chicken stay indoors in August?
It didn’t want to get baked.

What did May say to August?
“I bring flowers, you just bring sunburns.”

Read: 30 Best Rain Jokes

What did the fan say in August?
“I better get paid overtime for this.”

What do you call a sheep that loves to tan in August?
A sunbaaather!

How do drops of sweat survive August?
By sticking together.

What did November say to August?
“At least when I cook a turkey, it’s intentional.”

What’s August’s favorite sport?
Water polo.

What did September say to August?
“I bring sweaters, you just bring sweat.”

What did August say when it flirted with September?
“I’m falling for you.”

What did February say to August?
“Chocolates in my month melt from love. In your month, they melt from stepping outside.”

What did June say to August?
“You’re the Monday of summer.”

What did August say to July?
“You’re hot, but I’m hotter!”

Read: 82 Beach Pick Up Lines for a Tidal Tease

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