31 Funniest August Jokes

How many seconds are there in August? One: August 2nd.

Where does August come before July? In the dictionary.

What type of conditioner goes best with shampoo in August? Air conditioner.

What do you call a snowman in August? A puddle.

What do you call a temper tantrum in August? A meltdown.

What happens to a banana if it doesn’t use sunscreen in August? It peels.

What did May say to August? “I bring flowers, you just bring sunburns.”

What did the fan say in August? “I better get paid overtime for this.”

Why did the car break down in August? It was two-tired from the heat.

What did October say to August? “I have Halloween; what do you have? Another day of sweating?”

What did February say to August? “Chocolates in my month melt from love. In your month, they melt from stepping outside.”

Why did August see a therapist? It had separation anxiety from July.

What do baseball fans do together in August? The heatwave.

Why did the computer overheat in August? It had too many windows open.

What did November say to August? “At least when I cook a turkey it’s intentional.”

What did August say when it flirted with September? “I’m falling for you.”

Why did the ice cream truck break down in August? It was so hot it had a meltdown.

What did September say to August? “Everyone celebrates my arrival, because it means you’re leaving.”

Why did August break up with July? It couldn’t handle another summer fling.

How do dogs survive August? They pant.

What do you call a dirty bedroom in August? A hot mess.

What did June say to August? “You’re the Monday of summer.”

How do drops of sweat survive August? By sticking together.

Why did August visit the bank? To save some daylight.

Why did the chicken stay indoors in August? It didn’t want to get baked.

What did April say to August? “My showers bring flowers, what do you bring? Sweat stains?”

What did September say to August? “I bring sweaters, you just bring sweat.”

The Match Lab