31 Funniest 4th of July Jokes
What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A seasick Uncle Sam.
What’s the best tea to drink on the 4th of July?
Liber-tea.
Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide.
Not everyone gets the 4th of July off from work.
Fire works.
What did the ghost wear on the 4th of July?
Red, white, and boo!
Why aren’t there any knock-knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
What’s the difference between February 14th and July 4th?
Nothing. They’re both Independence Day.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle!
What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did July break up with June?
It needed to declare its independence.
What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?
Firecrackers.
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What’s the best thing to put into a hotdog on the 4th of July?
Your teeth.
What do you call an American drawing?
A Yankee doodle.
What do you get when you cross a patriot with a small dog?
Yankee Poodle.
What did the American flag say to the other flag?
“Nothing, it just waved.”
What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker!
What do fireworks eat for breakfast?
Snap, crackle, and pop: Rice Krispies.
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What did December say to July?
“My Christmas decorations light up the world for a month; your fireworks light it up for just a few hours.”
Why did the firecracker break up with the rocket?
Because it had too short of a fuse.
How do you know firecrackers love the 4th of July?
They have a blast.
What do you call a firework that doesn’t go boom?
A fire-not-work.
What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
One has a bill on their face; the other has their face on a bill.
What’s a firework’s favorite snack?
Popcorn.
Why did the bicycle fall over in July?
It was two-tired!
What’s the best way to start a 4th of July barbecue?
With a “meat” and greet.
What do the utensils celebrate on Independence Day?
The Fork of July.
Why did the firecracker go to the hair salon?
It needed to trim its bangs.
Why did the American flag go to therapy?
To expose its true colors.
What did the Statue of Liberty say when visitors left?
“Stay in torch!”
What’s the most patriotic sport?
Flag football.
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