The Match Lab

31 Best July Jokes


Why did July break up with June? It needed to declare its independence.

How many seconds are there in July? One: July 2nd.

Where does August come before July? In the dictionary.

What type of conditioner does July use with shampoo? Air conditioner.

Not everyone gets the Fourth of July off from work. Fire works.

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I shared my opinion one day in July. It was a hot take.

What did December say to July? “My Christmas decorations light up the world for a month, your fireworks light it up for just a few hours.”

Why is July never cold? Because it’s always in the middle of the summer. Why would it be cold in the middle of summer…

What’s the difference between February 14th and July 4th? Nothing. They’re both Independence Day.

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What did May say to July? “May flowers are prettier than July’s scorched lawns.”

Why did July invent its own hot sauce? It wanted to bring the heat.

Do other countries outside the U.S. have a 4th of July? Yes, they do. It always comes right after July 3rd.

What did October say to July? “I bring fall foliage, you just bring sunburns.”

What did November say to July? “You make people sweat; I make them thankful.”

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What’s July’s favorite Katy Perry song? Firework.

Why the frat bros throw a party in July? They knew it’d be the hottest party of the year.

July went out and got a new career. It’s called firework.

Why didn’t July ever marry? It’s always celebrating independence.

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What did June say to July? “Ever heard of too much of a good thing? That’s you.”

What did August say to July? “My sunsets are golden; your sunburns are just red.”

What’s July’s favorite way to take a bath? By sunbathing.

What are July’s three favorite types of party? One with a barbecue, one with a pool, and one with fireworks.

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What’s July favorite type of salad? A fruit salad.

What did November say to July? “Who cares about your barbecues when I give people a Thanksgiving feast.”

What did October say to July? “I bring crisp air; you just bring hot despair.”

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