31 Funniest July Jokes
Why did July break up with June?
It needed to declare its independence.
What’s July’s favorite Katy Perry song?
Firework.
What did December say to July?
“My Christmas decorations light up the world for a month; your fireworks light it up for just a few hours.”
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle!
What’s the difference between February 14th and July 4th?
Nothing. They’re both Independence Day.
Why did the sun go to therapy in July?
It couldn’t stop burning out!
What’s the coolest month for a pirate?
July, because of all the booty on the beach!
What did June say to July?
“Ever heard of too much of a good thing? That’s you.”
What’s July’s favorite way to take a bath?
By sunbathing.
What did October say to July?
“I bring fall foliage; you just bring sunburns.”
How many seconds are there in July?
One: July 2nd.
Why didn’t July ever marry?
It’s always celebrating independence.
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Why did the skeleton go to the BBQ in July?
To get some spare ribs!
What did May say to July?
“May flowers are prettier than July’s scorched lawns.”
What did October say to July?
“I bring crisp air; you just bring hot despair.”
What did November say to July?
“You make people sweat; I make them thankful.”
What did August say to July?
“My sunsets are golden; your sunburns are just red.”
What did November say to July?
“Who cares about your barbecues when I give people a Thanksgiving feast?”
What do ants celebrate in July?
Independ-ants day.
Not everyone gets the Fourth of July off from work. Fire works.
What do you eat on the 5th of July?
Independence day-old pizza.
What’s the best drink to have on the 4th of July?
Liber-tea.
What’s a snowman’s favorite day in July?
None, they prefer December!
Why did July go to the gym?
To get its wedding bod ready.
Where does August come before July?
In the dictionary.
Why did July go out and get a new career?
It’s called firework.
Why did the bicycle fall over in July?
It was two-tired!
What type of conditioner does July use with shampoo?
Air conditioner.
What’s July’s favorite type of salad?
A fruit salad.
Why did July break up with June?
It needed to declare its independence.
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