50 Monday Jokes for a Much-Needed Laugh
If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
What’s the difference between Monday and a graveyard?
A graveyard feels less depressing.
Why can’t Monday lift Saturday or Sunday?
Because Monday is a weak-day.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar just says WTF…
What’s the worst sound on Monday morning?
An alarm clock.
Mondays are like math problems.
Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.
What’s long, hard, and waiting for you?
Monday.
Monday is like that person who showed up to your party uninvited.
You just keep wondering when they’ll leave.
If Monday was a person, it would be the one who double-dips the chips at a party.
If Monday was a person, I’d report them to HR for harassment.
Read: 20 Funniest Sunday Jokes
What’s the best way to watch a movie on Monday?
By calling in sick.
Monday is like a leftover fish – it stinks, and no one is excited about it.
If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
I meet 52 Mondays every year. And yet, I still can’t find one I like.
Monday’s favorite kind of music?
Blues.
Monday is the photo bomber of the calendar week.
What’s scarier than Friday the 13th?
Monday the 13th.
What’s the difference between Monday and an elevator?
An elevator doesn’t always bring you down.
Why does everyone think about the past on Monday?
Because they’re dreading the future!
Why did the calendar maker stop working after creating Monday?
They called it a day.
Why does Gordon Ramsay not like WWE on Monday Nights?
Because it’s RAW.
What’s the best herb to eat on Mondays?
Encourage-mint.
Read: 25 Best Tuesday Jokes
Why was Sunday sadder than Monday?
Because Sunday knew Monday was coming.
Why do people call Monday the beginning of the week?
Because they are lying to themselves.
Monday Jokes for Work:
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Why did the skeleton do poorly in school on Monday?
His heart wasn’t in it!
What’s the difference between Monday and leftovers?
Leftovers give you something to look forward to.
What’s the worst Monday you can have?
The next one.
Why did the skeleton laugh at Monday jokes?
He didn’t find them humerus!
Why was the broom late for work on Monday?
He over-swept.
Read: 175 Rapid Fire Questions for Couples, Employees, & Friends
Why did Monday become a lawyer?
Because it’s so good at making people miserable.
What’s the worst day of the week to have a dentist appointment?
Monday.
Monday’s to-do list: 1. Coffee 2. Coffee 3. More coffee 4. Briefly consider work.
Why did Monday go to therapy?
It was tired of being overshadowed by Saturday.
Monday: the day my coffee needs a coffee.
What’s the shortest horror story ever?
Monday.
What do procrastinators do on Mondays?
They decide that they are going to stop procrastinating next Monday.
Why did the ghost stay in school on Monday?
He was the school spirit.
What do you call Monday mornings when you can’t get out of bed?
Bed-ridden.
What’s the best day of the week for NASA to launch a rocket?
Moon-day!