The Match Lab

28 Best February Jokes

february-jokes

How many seconds are there in February?
One: February 2nd.

Why is February bad in bed?
It always finishes prematurely.

What’s the only thing calendars can do when February ends?
March onward.

What’s the best month for brewing coffee?
Feb-BREW-ary.

Why did the calendar creator’s assistant get fired?
He took too many days off in February.

What’s the difference between February and a book?
A book takes longer to finish.

What’s the difference between February and a concert?
A concert leaves you wanting more.

What did January say to February?
“Booo, you’re the Monday of months.”

What do you call a successful diet in February?
Short-lived.

Read: 30 Best ‘It’s So Cold…’ Jokes

What’s February’s favorite snack?
Shortbread.

Which month tells the most lies?
Fibruary.

What’s February’s favorite fruit?
Dates—it can’t get enough of them.

Why did February ask March for a loan?
It was short a few days.

Why did February sue the calendar?
It felt like its days were numbered too short.

Why is February so short?
Even the calendar wanted to make winter end sooner.

Why don’t movies premiere in February?
The credits last longer than the month.

What’s the difference between February and a slow cooker?
A slow cooker is expected to take a long time.

Why did February buy a scale?
To see if it could gain a few extra days.

What is a ghost’s favorite month?
Feb-BOO-uary.

February is shorter than a Kardashian marriage.

What did February 28 do?
It marched.

Read: 52 Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

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