The Match Lab

28 Best February Jokes


How many seconds are there in February? One: February 2nd.

Why is February bad in bed? It always finishes prematurely.

What’s the only thing calendars can do when February ends? March onward.

What’s the best month for brewing coffee? Feb-BREW-ary.

What do you call February 14th in Korea? The day of Seoul-mates.

Read: 30 Best ‘It’s So Cold…’ Jokes

Why did the calendar creator’s assistant get fired? He took too many days off in February.

What’s the difference between February and a book? A book takes longer to finish.

What’s the difference between February and a concert? A concert leaves you wanting more.

What did January say to February? “Booo, you’re the Monday of months.”

What did November say to February? “At least my chill leads to a feast. What’s your excuse?”

Read: 31 Best January Jokes

What do you call a successful diet in February? Short-lived.

What’s February’s favorite snack? Shortbread.

Which month tells the most lies? Fibruary.

I made a playlist for leap day. It’s all hip hop.

What’s February’s favorite fruit? Dates—it can’t get enough of them.

Read: 20 Funniest Saturday Jokes

Why did February ask March for a loan? It was short a few days.

Why did February sue the calendar? It felt like its days were numbered too short.

Why is February so short? Even the calendar wanted to make winter end sooner.

Why don’t movies premiere in February? The credits last longer than the month.

What’s the difference between February and a marathon? One feels longer than it actually is.

Read: 30 Best November Jokes

What’s the difference between February and daylight savings? One jumps ahead while the other just drags on.

What’s the difference between February and a slow cooker? A slow cooker is expected to take a long time.

Why did February buy a scale? To see if it could gain a few extra days.

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