The Match Lab

31 Best January Jokes


What’s January’s favorite body part? The cold shoulder.

What do you get if you cross January with a vampire? Frostbite.

How many seconds are there in January? One: January 2nd.

What’s January’s favorite movie? Frozen.

How do you go online in January? By using the winternet.

Read: 30 Best ‘It’s So Cold…’ Jokes

Why is it too soon to kiss someone on January 1st? Because it’s the first date.

What’s the difference between a bear and January? One hibernates, the other makes everyone wish they could.

Why do comedians hate doing shows in January? It takes much longer to warm up the audience.

How do you start a conversation in January? You break the ice.

Read: 30 Funniest Monday Jokes

What do January and your boss have in common? They both give you the chills.

What’s the only part of a workout in January? The cooldown.

What’s January’s favorite type of music? Chill-out.

What’s January’s favorite spice? Chill-i powder.

What do you call a snowman party? A snowball.

Read: 25 Best Nut Jokes

Why do computers hate January? They’re always freezing.

What do you call a dragon in January? A snow blower.

What’s the difference between January and a marathon? A marathon eventually ends.

What’s the difference between January and coffee? Coffee keeps you warm.

What’s a cow’s favorite day in January? Moo-year’s day.

Read: 30 Best November Jokes

How does January stay in shape? By running out the clock on a new year’s resolutions.

How do you keep warm in January? You can’t.

What’s a vampire’s favorite part of January? The biting cold.

How does January communicate? Through cold calls.

What’s the difference between January and an onion? Both make you cry, but only January’s tears freeze.

Read: 65 Best Ginger Jokes

What’s the difference between January and a ghost? Ghosts only give some people chills.

What’s January’s favorite cereal? Frosted Flakes.

What’s January’s second favorite cereal? Ice Krispies.

Why did January see a therapist? It had separation anxiety from December.

Read: 52 Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

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