40 Savage ‘You’re So Ugly…’ Jokes

You’re so ugly, when you look in the mirror, your reflection ducks.

You’re so ugly, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

You’re so ugly, when you walk into a haunted house, you come out with a job application.

You’re so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.

You’re so ugly, you make onions cry.

You’re so ugly, when you go to the zoo, they wonder how you got out of your cage.

You’re so ugly, even the tide won’t take you out.

You’re so ugly, you turned Medusa to stone.

You’re so ugly, your portraits hang themselves.

You’re so ugly, you have to trick or treat over the phone.

You’re so ugly, your pillow cries at night.

You’re so ugly, when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.

You’re so ugly, your mom had to get drunk before she breastfed you.

You’re so ugly, when you play peek-a-boo, the baby cries.

You’re so ugly, you make mirrors crack up.

You’re so ugly, when you were born, the doctor slapped himself.

You’re so ugly, you make the Grinch look like Brad Pitt.

You’re so ugly, you make Voldemort look like a heartthrob.

You’re so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.

You’re so ugly, when you walk into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

You’re so ugly, you make the Boogeyman check his closet for you before he goes to bed.

You’re so ugly, you make the Cookie Monster lose his appetite.

You’re so ugly, you make blind people scream in horror.

You’re so ugly, when you go to the dentist, they make you lie face down.

You’re so ugly, you make the Chupacabra look cuddly.

You’re so ugly, when you go fishing, the fish throw you back.

You’re so ugly, you make the Grim Reaper reconsider his purpose in life.

You’re so ugly, when you look in the mirror, it looks back and says “I quit.”

You’re so ugly, when you go to the zoo, animals buy tickets to see you.

You’re so ugly, when you go to a pet store, they put you in a cage.

You’re so ugly, when you go to an aquarium, the fish swim away.

You’re so ugly, when you go to a museum, they put you in your own exhibit.

You’re so ugly, when you go to a spa, they use you as a before picture.

You’re so ugly, you make a goblin look like a heartthrob.

You’re so ugly, when you go to a bakery, they use you as a mold for Halloween cookies.

The Match Lab