The Match Lab

30 Submarine Jokes for Some Nautical Nonsense

submarine-jokes

Why did the submarine flunk school?
It kept going below C level.

Why did the submarine break up with its girlfriend?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.

Why did the submarine blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.

What’s a submarine’s favorite game?
Battleship, but they cheat!

Why don’t submarines get lonely?
They’re full of crew-mates.

What do submarines and computers have in common?
They both have screensavers.

How do submarines like their pizza?
Deep dish.

Why do submarines make great singers?
They always hit the deep notes.

What’s a submarine’s favorite dance move?
The wave!

Why don’t submarines get stressed?
They’re used to being under a lot of pressure.

Why are submarines so in need of therapy?
They never let their emotions surface.

Read: 50 Best Ocean Jokes

What do you call a submarine sailor who isn’t talkative or energetic?
A subdued sub dude.

Why do submarines make great detectives?
They go deeper into the case than anyone else.

How do submarines stay informed?
They tune in to the current news.

Why did the submarine visit the psychiatrist?
It had deep-seated issues.

Why did the submarine cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.

Why are submarines bad at soccer?
Their kicks are sub-par.

What do you wear to a wedding in a submarine?
A dive suit.

Why was the submarine always upbeat?
It had a buoyant personality.

Read: 50 Best Water Jokes

How do submarines stay cool in summer?
They stay below the heat wave.

Why did the submarine get promoted at work?
It was great at working under pressure.

Why don’t submarines play cards?
Too many sharks looking for a good hand.

Why don’t submarines have many friends?
They’re too submerged in their work.

Why did the submarine go to the amusement park?
To ride the Tidal Wave!

Why don’t submariners make good skydivers?
They’re afraid of heights.

How do submarines like their music?
With lots of bass.

Why don’t submarines play football?
They’re afraid of getting a red card for diving.

What do submarines use to get high?
Seaweed.

Why don’t submarines like to gossip?
They prefer to keep things under the surface.

Why was the submarine a good student?
It dove into its studies.

Read: 35 Best Fish Jokes

Also read: 46 Fishing Pick Up Lines

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