31 Funniest October Jokes
How many seconds are there in October? One: October 2nd.
What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
Why do birds fly south in October? Because walking takes too long.
Where does November come before October? In the dictionary.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
Why did the Jack-o’-lantern go to the therapist? It was feeling a little hollow inside.
What do birds say on Halloween? “Twick or tweet.”
What did July say to October? “Fireworks in July, just old lanterns in October.”
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What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
How do you know when it’s October? The trees start throwing shade.
What kind of vest does October wear? A harvest.
Why is October such a romantic? It always falls for you.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
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What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
Why did the scarecrow win an award in October? For being outstanding in his field.
What’s October’s favorite pick-up line? “Do you believe in love at first fright?”
Why did October join a dating site? To find someone to fall for.
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Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
What did July say to October? “I celebrate independence, you celebrate… candy?”
What did January say to October? “I may be cold, but at least I don’t have to dress up like a pumpkin to be liked.”
Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
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Why don’t vampires have more friends? Because they’re a pain in the neck.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
What did May say to October? “I bring the flowers; you just bring fallen leaves.”
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How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebbed.
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What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
Why do vampires believe everything you tell them? Because they’re suckers.
What did December say to October? “Ever heard of Christmas? Now that’s a real holiday.”
What did February say to October? “I’ve got the love, you just get ghosted.”
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